Re: Worst video

[chrisw@fciad2.bsd.uchicago.edu (chris williams)]

In article <1994Oct14.134201.17521@galileo.cc.rochester.edu> you write:
>In <m0quE9t-000ilqC@fciad2.bsd.uchicago.edu> chrisw@fciad2.bsd.uchicago.edu (chris williams) writes:
>
>>   Sorry. I didn't make this one clear. There is only one video to _Love
>>and Anger_. But L&A was Columbia's choice for a single in the US, and
>>not Kate's choice for a single.  So the video was made especially for
>>the US market, and Vickie and I believe it is a Kate's answer to having
>>to make a special video just for the US. 
>
>Slapdash market piece or not, the video (along with the song, obviously) for
>Love and Anger introduced me to and hooked me on Kate.  I don't have any
>harsh words for it.  Compared to her other stuff...well, I'd still debate
>with you whether it's worse than the other videos, probably (the Rubberband
>Girl vid I saw *was* pretty abysmal, as discussed in the deleted text
>above).  I'd never seen anything remotely like it before, though, and that's
>what made the difference.

   This is coming a bit late (we had Uli as a house guest) but I had to
correct a mistaken impression. _Love and Anger_ is not a slapdash
effort, nor did I intend to imply that it was. It is a carefully crafted
piece of humor. _Rubberband Girl_ (version 2), on the other hand, *was*
a slapdash market piece made by a an obviously somewhat annoyed Kate.

    To avoid any further misunderstanding, here's our original analysis
of of the _Love and Anger_ video. Apologies to those who may have seen
this more than once.

=========================================================================

This should stir'em up some. Here is our interpretation of the Video
for "Love And Anger". Just the video.

The parts in {}'s are from Chris. The Parts in []'s are from Vickie.

Video starts with a:
BLURRY SHOT
    {Not much meaning here. Just a blurry shot of the skirts of the
Sufis.}

Next Kate is:
IN THE SPOTLIGHT
     {This is it. The record that's going to "break her" in America.
All eyes are upon her.}  

In her hands are:
JEWELRY
     {Could it be a rosary? She is on her knees, is she praying?
For what?}
 
She is:
SHOWERED WITH GOLD
    {As she will be, metaphoricaly, if she succeeds in America, the
last holdout in the "civilized" world. We feel this video is the direct
result of a conversation with CBS record executives.}

She drops her:
JEWELERY
    [Possibly "pearls before swine"?]

She spins with her:
HEAD DOWN, ARMS OUTSTRETCHED
   ["Here I am, do what you will"]

She is handed the:
CROWN JEWELS
    {Not all the crown jewels, just the Orb and Septre, but definitely
the British Crown Jewels, symbolic of her Britishness.} 

In come the:
BALLET DANCERS
     {The Ballet Dancers may represent what CBS thinks of her recent
videos, serious and hoity-toity. They may have told her to "loosen up"
and stop taking herself so seriously.}

And she:
STANDS THERE
   {As everyone knows, in American rock videos, she singer just stands
there while dancers rush around, trying desperatly to create the
illusion
that the singer is dancing, as in videos by Kim Karnes, Rod Stewart,
Elton John and others. God forbid that the singer actually try to dance,
as in Sting's "We'll Be Together". Kate, as we all know, can dance very
well, but she tried that with "Running Up That Hill" and that video was
bumped in favor of a TV show in which she was safely behind a podium.} 

Then the ballet dancers:
FADE AWAY

Then Sufi Dancers or:
WHIRLING DEVERISHS 
     {Don't you just love them. I do.} [ditto]

The ballet dancers come back and:
TAKE THE CROWN JEWELS
     {Or her Britishness, as CBS may be trying to do.} 

Causing Kate to:
VIBRATE VIOLENTLY
     [Free & easy, loose, "Americanized"]

And start:
GOING BACKWARDS
     {Being told to pander to the American market would no doubt be
a [huge] step backwards for Kate at this point in her career.}

The camera pans left to a:
ARCH-TYPICAL "AMERICAN ROCK VIDEO"
     {Dave Guilmor with a wind machine in his face. This video is
exclusivly for the American market. Peter Fitzgerald-Morris tells us
it hasn't been shown in England. Near as we can tell CBS picked this
song as the first single and asked her for "a video for the American
market" and she must have thought:
"Hmm.. a video for America? Well I guess we'll just have to make an
American video." 
So she made as American a video as she could.}

Our heroine gets:
CARRIED IN FEET FIRST
      {As she well would have to be. This type of video is known the
well-known, and much dreaded, "Band-in-a-Box"}

And starts to:
GYRATE WILDLY
    {Near as I can tell this is something between The Pony and The Frug.
I think Joey Heatherton invented this one on Hullaballoo.}
[no one has commented on the "hullaballoo" dance moves she made in in
the Dreaming video-same influences at work]

Surrounded by:
CLICHED SHOTS OF BAND MEMBERS
     {Possible award winner for Most-Cliched Visuals on the MTV Music
Video Awards (a hotly contested catagory). The worst lighting I've seen
in years. Par lamps on a straight truss on a chase!! This *cannot* be
anything other than a JOKE, the lighting equivilent of a guitarist
running his/her hand up and down the neck of his/her gee-tar (Kate
called this action "obviously wanking away up there")(see: Heart or
any Heavy Metal). Take it from me, the lighting is dumber than a box
of rocks. On purpose. Kate's videos are always well and subtly lit.}

Until she:
THROWS THE GOLD GLITTER AT THE CAMERA
     {With a manical grin on her face. Watch it in slow motion.}

Thus ends Kate's funniest video. I've broken it down for ease of
commenting by other Love-Hounds. We've run this past Doctor of
Katebusholigy Peter David Fitzgerald-Morris of "Homeground" and he
found it amusing and very likely given Kate's sense of humor. Remember
this is Kate we are talking about, Our Lady of the Oblique Reference,
the one who puts lyrics in her songs that even her most ardent fans
cannot decipher, the one who hides secret symbols on her records,
the one who once answered a simple question, "what kind of makeup
do you use?", with, "oh, I don't use makeup anymore, I use latex!"
Comments welcome.


                                  Love, 
                                      Chris'n'Vickie
                                      [or Vickie'n'Chris]

[notice how the title can be turned into Love an' Danger? No special
significance, I just think it's neat]

========================================================================


                          Chris Williams of
                             Chris'n'Vickie of Chicago
                               chrisw@fciad2.bsd.uchicago.edu (his)
                                 vickie@njin.rutgers.edu      (hers)