RE: "it's a gay thing . . ."

["Karen L. Newcombe" <kln@crl.com>]

Brian Dillard was talking a few weeks ago about people thinking his Kate 
appreciation was "a gay thing."  I don't want to let his story get too 
far in the past before I comment . . .

I've been told my Kate appreciation is because I'm "nuts", or "insecure" 
or "a closet lesbian" or "don't have enoughh going on in my life."

The only conclusion I can make is that people cannot get their minds 
around something that doesn't particularly interest them and does not 
occur in their little bit of universe on a regular basis.  Rather than 
say "That's nice" which merely allows the other person to own their 
quirks, the human habit is to try and "explain" everything so that it 
seems to be under control.

It is that old bogey, magical thinking:  if I know the name of it, I 
control it and it cannot get me.  Rather than letting you merely like 
Kate, they need to explain it to themselves somehow.  

I've noticed that people often tell my gay male friends "it must be a gay 
thing", whereas they would never  say to me "it must be a straight thing" 
or "it must be a poet's thing" or "it must be a person of Welsh-Irish 
origins thing."

Usually I decide the people who have such a need to control their 
surroundings are not people I want to have around me and limit my contact 
with them.  

I am fortunate to have understanding friends who will accept damned near 
anything I do, no matter how bloody weird.  Even becoming a KateFan!

two-cents-worth Newcombe  kln@crl.com 

"Narrow mind would persecute it"  Leave It Open