Re: Psychological Abuse

[jessica@athos.rutgers.edu (jessica)]

   My 2 cents: (hopefully when we've got a few dollars added up we'll
move on to other topics?!)
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   I thought Larry's post was very honest and direct and *not* sexist.
The Concise Oxford Dictionary, 8th Ed., Copyright 1991, says:

   sexism: n. prejudice or discrimination, esp. against women, on the
   grounds of sex. ; sexist: adj. & n./sex/+/-ism/ 

I didn't tihnk Larry's post was prejudice or discrimiatory towards any
sex, on the basis of sex, or implied he has such feelings, or implied
things that could lead to such thoughts.
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   I thought Melissa's posts made some good points, but failed by
being too exacting, too specific. I'd agree that people are ultimately
and wholly responsible for their own feelings and state of mind
(outside of mental imbalances cause by illnesses other than simply
psychological).  But I think she concentrated too strongly on that
point without looking at the overall picture that surrounds each
individual person.
		    ---------------------------
  (I use "he/himself/him/his" only as a "human" pronoun, not as
  specifically male. For me, the feminine pronoun is distinctly
  feminine, whereas the other is equally neuter as masculine.)
I don't think a person can begin to understand himself until he learns
to look at each of his expriences and reactions to them, taking them
all into account, and truly understand *why* he is acting/feeling a
certain way in a given situation.
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   I also liked several of the comments Vickie made, but I felt she
hurt her own argument by going overboard in assumptions about what
kind of background experiences could have produced the comments she
was replying to.
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   For once, I thought Cynthia made some really good points. (I don't
mean that to sound as sarcastic as it sounds, but I must admit
Cynthia's tone generally precludes my taking her very seriosuly. This
time, I felt like she was *being* more serious.) But even in her post,
the problem I had was with small events being argued over without
tkaing into account the greater picture.

   She points out to Vickie that Melissa was simply making an
"academic" argument, not making an emotional attack. But *even though
I agree that it is the one fundamental most important point that
underlies it all*, I felt that the way Melissa disregarded the overall
picture to boil everything down to one small academic point, turned
the statement of something rational into something cold and
potentionally offensive.
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I'm not sure how this discussion ever got started in .gaffa at all!
I can tie the points I've made into Kate's work in this way:

What I keep referring to above is the concept of taking into account
an overall picture of a person's life, past influencial experiences
and decisions, as a way of understanding people, society and
ultimately, your own self. It's something I consider a highest
priority in all i do. It's an attitude and quality I look for and
admire in others.

One thing I have loved most of all about Kate's work is that nearly
every song is an example of doing just that, and doing it well. People
have often commented on her ability to completely take you into a
character, to provide witihn the space of a short song all of the
emotion, all of the story, all of the characterization neccessary to
create a very full and vivid picture. 

I think she does that by not giving just a view of "current"
situation, but by brilliantly (sometimes obivously and sometimes
subtly) including bits of past history and characterization that bring
everything together, that allow you to really *understand* and
empathize with the character, even if she's telling a story you could not
otherwise relate to.
   (empathy being the power of identifying mentally with (and so fully
   comprehending) a person or object of contemplation, for those who
   might confuse it with sympathy.)

Cloudbusting is an obvious example. I'm sure few of us can sympathize
with the character, but Kate makes us *understand* and even *feel* the
way the character feels, in so few lines showing us so much.  Breathing
is another. Babooshka, Houdini. In fact, *everything* on The Dreaming.

I could go on, and then I could list the songs where it's done subtly,
and I'd probably end up listing almost all :)

Ah well, it's far too late for me to be coherent. Happy T-day to all.

	      		      jessica


-- 
|| jessica  || It is this that || Don't try to tell me there's no reason for ||
|| lawrence ||    brings us    || any moment in time, every memory of mine.  ||
|| koeppel  ||    together.    || Those years are lines of color on my face, ||
|| dembski  ||        --Kate   || the past is warpaint.     --Happy Rhodes   ||