Ho, hum

[rhill@pnet01.cts.com (Ronald Hill)]

Hum, De Dum.  Another day on Love-Hounds. 
 
Ron "Just Passing The Time" Hill 
 
UUCP: {hplabs!hp-sdd ucsd nosc}!crash!pnet01!rhill 
ARPA: crash!pnet01!rhill@nosc.mil 
INET: rhill@pnet01.cts.com 
 
 
Messages-ID: #????.pnet01.music/music.gaffa 12099 chars.
From: Spock 
Newsgroups: rec.music.gaffa 
Subject: Captain, Captain?  
Date: 14 Oct 91 09:40:42 GMT 
Organization: ??????? 
 
<JKFD>n<10994343043>
MESSAGE SOURCE INIDENTIFABLE, RETURNING TO NETWORK: 
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Spock) writes: 
>       Captain Kirk?  Captain Kirk? 
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Kirk) writes:
>       Spock, is that you?
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Spock) writes:
>       Indeed, it is Captain.  I am most pleased that I have been
>able to establish contact with you. 
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Kirk) writes:
>       Where are we, Spock?  Last thing I remember is that after
>the incident on Calligar we were beaming down to a planet. 
>Since then all I seem to be aware of is a series of bizarre text
>messages floating through my consciousness. 
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Spock) writes:
>       I have been aware of these messages too, Captain, and it is
>through that link that I have been able to establish contact. 
>Apparently the Calligar rift left disturbances that we were not
>aware of.  It appears that we have once again been sent back
>through time and, rather then materializing in solid form, our
>consciousness has been placed in the memory banks of a twentieth
>century computer system.
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Kirk) writes:
>       Amazing, Spock.  Good thing McCoy isn't here.  What exactly
>is this place? 
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Spock) writes:
>       I am not entirely sure, Captain.  We have been here for 93.2
>hours and I have been using this time to examine the memory
>systems of the network we are in.  It appears to be called, "The
>Love Hounds Computer Network."  It appears to be dedicated to
>Kate Bush, a contemporary singer and musician of some renown.  
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Kirk) writes:
>       This Kate Bush, she appears to be a God to these people. 
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Spock) writes:
>       That was my initial hypothesis, although I now believe that
>most of the members of this system don't see her as a God, but
>instead this appears to be a form of humour to these people,
>though I am at a loss to explain it.  
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Kirk) writes:
>       Which you often see to be when it comes to humor, though I
>must admit I can't explain it either.  This seems to be an awful
>lot of reading material devoted to one singer. 
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Spock) writes:    
>       Indeed?  It never fails to amaze me how you humans often
>tend to find in-depth discussion of issues related to the arts
>distasteful, though I must admit that many of the issues
>discussed on this network concern items of trivial interest. 
>However I have found an interesting area of this system entitled
>"The Love-Hounds Archives", which contains many interesting
>photographs of the young woman as well as a fascinating document
>entitled "Cloudbusting" which appears to be a historic
>predesesor to the post-autobiographical format which became
>popular in the early 21rst century.  Unfortunately Cloudbusting,
>needless to say, contains only information up to the current
>year, 1991, and so does not include information on Kate's 1993
>album, Late Again, her 1996 album, For The Love Of Stern, or her
>Tour Of Life II, which was held in 1998 and became the basis for
>an entire civilization on planet Gaffan II.  Indeed, I am sure
>that the inhabitants of that planet would be very interested in
>the existence of this network as it may confirm their murky
>historical record as to where their ancestors...[BREAK] 
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Kirk) writes:
>SPOCK.  [BREAK]  SPOCK.  [BREAK]
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Spock) writes:
>       Yes, Captain. 
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Kirk) writes:
>       This is all very interesting but it's not going to help us
>any.  Can you formulate a plan to remove us from the memory
banks of this computer system? 
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Spock) writes:
>       Indeed, Captain.  I have already been working on just such a
>plan, of course.  I developed the idea while attempting to
>formulate a link with you, and instead having been connected to
>this time period's mass entertainment system, and to an 
>entertainment program entitled "Quantum Leap."  
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Kirk) writes:
>       Are you sure it wasn't "Back To The Future II", Spock. 
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Spock) writes:
>       Quite certain, Captain.  Though the principle is remarkably
>similar.  
>       I believe that I can device a computer virus that will
>travel from computer to computer, undetected, until a specific
>stardate, when it will flash a message on the Enterprise's
>computer screen, revealing the location of our minds inside
>this computer.  The Enterprise should then be able to beam us
>out, through the same time-portal that we were beamed in. 
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Kirk) writes:
>       Are there any risks, Spock?
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Spock) writes:
>       If the initial virus does not succeed, it is unlikely that
>any further versions will.  In this case, the only option open
>to us would be to simply wait in computer memory until after the
>accident, transfering ourselves when needed, and then leave the
>messages ourselves.  
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Kirk) writes:
>       And be trapped listening to these people for who knows how
>long?  Please tell it will work, Spock.
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Spock) writes:
>       I shall endeavor to do my best, Captain.  Although I enjoy
>the above average intellectual level shown on this network, I
>find this flagrant "flaming" most distasteful. 
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Kirk) writes:
>               Actually, Spock, I was going to say that I found the
>insufferable intellectualism of this network "most distasteful."

SYSTEM>????@????.com (Spock) writes:
>       Indeed? 
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Kirk) writes:     
>       Indeed.  Oh, no, Spock, I think I feel another wave of
messages coming across.  
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Spock) writes:
>       According to these messages, this system has not been
>working properly for the past several days.  Our presence here
>appears to have disrupted the normal operation of this network
>to a great degree.
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Kirk) writes:
>       Is there any danger that the management of this system will
>discover the cause of the problem and attempt to delete it,
>namely us? 
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Spock) writes:
>       Unlikely, Captain.  The management here appears to be lax to
>the extreme.  In any case, I believe I have finished the
>computer virus. 
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Kirk) writes:
>       OH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MAKE IT WORK SPOCK.  
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Spock) writes:
>       Captain, we have been in stressful situations before, why
>are you so emotional at this moment? 
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Kirk) writes:
>       I just read another bunch of messages. 
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Spock) writes:
>       I see, Captain.   I am preparing to release the virus. 
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Kirk) writes:
>       Will there be any record of our appearance here?  
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Spock) writes:
>       There will be inactive copies of our consciousness here in
>the memory banks, but at the rate these people type these should
>be entirely destroyed in 89.3 days, far less if one Ron Hill
>acquires any more interview material.  However, remnants of our
>conversation may be left in the messaging system.  
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Kirk) writes:
>       I doubt we have said much that could effect the future
course of Earth.  
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Spock) writes:
>       You are correct, Captain.  Also, it appears to be a custom
>of these people to skip large threads of messages when they
>don't know the source or understand the content.  
>       While reviewing the messages of the last five years, I have
>noticed a fascinating discrepancy.  The people here appear to be
>aware of many things that people in the 20th century should not. 
>I have seen the names "Klingons" and "Romulans" used as well as
>other things from our century.  Most puzzling they appear to
>possess information which, if true, refers to the century AFTER
>ours. 
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Kirk) writes:
>       Thats incredible, Spock!
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Spock) writes:
>       Indeed.  I can offer no explanation, Captain.  
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Kirk) writes:
>       Perhaps Starfleet will authorize another mission back here,
>though I would insist that we be sent in human form, rather then
>as computer memory. 
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Spock) writes:
>       That would be preferable.  Well the computer virus is
>finished.  I will release it now.  
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Kirk) writes:
>       Thank you, Mr. Spock.  We shall have to play some of this
>Kate Bush's music when we're back on the Enterprise.  
 
SYSTEM>????@????.com (Spock) writes:
>       Indeed we shall, Captain. 

UUCP: {hplabs!hp-sdd ucsd nosc}!crash!pnet01!rhill
ARPA: crash!pnet01!rhill@nosc.mil
INET: rhill@pnet01.cts.com