Re: Kate-echisminimism; and Phone message news

[Jon Drukman <jsd@GAFFA.MIT.EDU>]

>Really-From: IED0DXM%OAC.UCLA.EDU@mitvma.mit.edu
>
>     Jon Drukman, you don't know what the f*ck you're talking about.

OOOOh Boyeee!  It's been ages since I've been on the receiving end of
an IED flame.  Can you stand it, kids?  New Kate music _and_ an IED
attack all within the space of two days!  I may die, right now...

>IED, unfortunately, does not
>keep records going that far back, so no doubt Doug will choose to
>disbelieve me (since IED has disbelieved Doug many times in the past,
>this may well be poetic justice), but there is no doubt in IED's
>mind that Doug's original reference to the "Nice to Swallow" nonsense
>was that "Kate once said" this.

Well, we here _do_ keep records going "that far back," and my research
has pinpointed this message as the start of the whole deal:

[Background info: |>oug was being chastised for interpreting the world
"sensual" as meaning "sexual" and the original writer (strangely named
"user@apple" (A Modem User)) told |>oug to get his mind out of the
gutter.  This is what |>oug said: ]

:I wish you'd get your mind IN the gutter!  Kate has all sorts of
:SEXUAL -- not just "sensory" allusions in her music -- some subtle and
:some not subtle at all.  I think the fact that Kate has refered to
:"Night of the Swallow" as "Nice to Swallow" should speak for
:where Kate thinks your mind should be!

So what does this seem to say?  Well, pity |>oug for taking Kate at
her printed word!  Maybe all this time |>oug has made a few tiny
"transcription errors" with his interview and Kate was really saying
things like "Oh yeah |>oug, I really agree.  There Goes A Tenner is all
about the quest to find life on Mars.  Spot on!  Good of you to notice
it." and "Y'know, it's really refreshing to meet someone who spends
hours formulating abstruse and clearly insane theories about my songs,
when they're really simple."

Honestly, I think you people just _hate_ to admit that you could
possibly be wrong!

>     It is true that Doug deserves some credit for finding the "quote".

Good.

>     Douglas and Jon, however, have already long since shown to this
>group that their own crude and vulgar sense of humour renders them
>utterly incapable of distinguishing a straightforward, descriptive use
>of language (as in "Because you can see my tits") from a powerfully
>poetic, imagistic use of language (as in "The sheets are soaked by
>your tiny fish") from a crude, gratuitous and utterly uncharacteristic
>bathroom joke like "Nice to Swallow".

Not quite as good.  After spending all this time trying to "get in
touch with my female side" it's made me realize that being a
sensitive, caring, intelligent guy all day gives you nothing but
headaches.  I worship Kate as a Goddess, but even our idols need
poking fun at.  In fact, they need it more than most.  So lighten up.
I believe she could have said it.  Most people don't agree, but that's
what makes horse-racing, isn't it?

Now, in this season of festive Kateness, perhaps we can put aside our
differences and get on with come constructive work on the new album.
For instance, why is the guy's picture in the paper during "Heads We're
Dancing" ??



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