Speaking of bozos... (was Re: Phase II)

[Mike Machnik <mike_m@apollo.com>]

In article <8905192313.AA11777@arc.UUCP> arc!ken@apple.com (Ken Stuart) writes:
>Normally, I might refrain from flaming someone's personal tastes, but
>this bozo couldn't seem to figure out how to follow the instructions,
>and sent 208 lines to hundreds of thousands of USENET-ers.  To add
>insult to injury, while his tastes are not strictly mainstream, they
>are nevertheless *dumb*.

      Hey, Ken the Bozo, I made a mistake and hit the wrong key, okay?  Ever
      heard of a mistake?  Or have you reached a level of Perfection 
      that none of us can ever hope to attain?  If so, please enlighten
      us so that we may follow you down the path to Greatness.

      I see, my tastes are dumb.  Well, you're entitled to your opinion.
      I only voted on artists I knew something about.  I know quite a
      bit about Yes, Genesis, Emerson Lake & Palmer, the Beatles, 
      Rolling Stones, etc.  I have most of the albums released by these
      bands.  I think that qualifies me to decide how much I like them.
      And, I don't.  I used to a while ago, but now I do not.  It's
      as simple as that.  Must I further qualify my opinions to you,
      King Ken?  I like what I like.  You like what you like.  Just
      don't get into my car and ask me to put your 'Rubber Soul'
      CD on.  I've probably heard it enough times in my life so far.
      (pun intended)

      To everyone else, I apologize for sending my reply to the whole
      list.  I did intend to reply to the author of the original
      message, but since I had never replied to an article in
      Love-Hounds before, I did not know that "r" does not kick you into
      mail (like the other newsgroups).  

>So, I offer this mathematical formula to derive any of the ratings he
>gave: 
>
>	rating = 0.2 / A  +  0.5 / B  +  C  -  D  
>
>	where A = average age of artists in group - 20 ; i.e. the
>			younger the better  don't trust anyone over 30

      How old are you? :-)

>	      B = number of years group has been performing ; i.e. we
>			hope they haven't been performing long ; that 
>			would be uncool and our parents or older
>			brothers might like them ; plus then we can't
>			claim to discover them.  Also, we will safely 
>			ignore that the people who get 0-1 on our list
>			actually "produced" the albums that got 9-10.
>
>	      C = special 2 points for influencing other high scorers
>
>	      D = special 2 points (deducted) for being influenced by 
>			classical music
>
>(No, I didn't really figure out the mathematics of 0.2 and 0.5 above,
>they're just approximations.)[The idea for this type of equation comes
>from Spy Magazine.]

      Let's see if we can figure out how many brownie points you earned
      from other Love-Hounds on this one, Lord Ken, on a scale of
      1 to 10.

      1.  3 points for making sure not to offend anyone on the basis
          of musical preferences, because that might bring flames,
          and we'd have to go cry to our mommy now, wouldn't we, Kenny?

      2.  4 points for demonstrating amazing theoretical
          mathematics and wowing the rest of the group, based 
          on your degree earned from Surfin' State University;

      3.  2 points for sending a flame directly to the
          group and increasing your macho quotient as a Love-Hound.
          Listen to much Village People, Kenny?     

      Total: 9 brownie points of a possible 10.  Good job, Kennie!
      Come over here and get your star for your forehead.

>Why does this guy like Kate Bush?  Or does he?

      A silly question.

      Even though I hadn't heard of Kate until just a few years ago, 
      she has quickly become one of my favorite artists.  I have
      all her commercial albums on CD (and a few 12" singles) -
      admittedly, nothing approaching that of many other fans, but
      it's a start.  Why do I like Kate, you ask?  It's more
      appropriate to ask why I like her *music*.  It's different.
      It's original.  It doesn't sound like 90% of the garbage
      you hear on commercial radio.  She brings new, fresh ideas
      to her music and creates complex songs with deeply intelligent
      lyrics that are nonetheless far from being pretentious (unlike
      the bands I mentioned earlier).  I'm not always in the mood
      to hear music like this - but when I am, I turn to Kate.
      (BTW - she *lives* at the end of TNW, dammit!)

>Reply to : apple!arc!ken         \ Disclaimer: All the above is solely
>	   sun!apple!arc!ken      \          the opinion of the author
   
      Oh, Sun...that *would* explain it.  Try sending your messages
      via a different route next time.  :-)

      Ken, it's a good thing you weren't around in the time of Abe
      Lincoln.  He was once heard to say, "If I ever meet a man
      dumber than myself, I'll shoot him..."

      If you've got anything else to say, take it to email.


      - mike