There Ain't No Cure for The SummerTime Blues

[len bullard <cbullard@hiwaay.net>]

Now, on with the WhattaDealYaGotMsBush or 
why most bands can't get a leg up in the nasty 
world out there.  These stats are from Musician 
Magazine Issue 227.

1.  Number of Albums released in 1996:  26,000
     Number of Albums Selling One Million:  56

2.  Jimi Hendrix's assets at time of death:  $5000
     At time of death, John Lennon was selling 
     assets to avoid bankruptcy.

3.  Average American wage:  $24, 231
     Amount paid to leading record executive  
     not to fulfill last four years of five year 
     contract:  $30 to 50 million.

4.  Paid to MC5 per album sold of reissues 
     of Back In the USA and Kick Out the Jams:  six cents 
     per dollar.  Reason Wayne Kramer kicked off 
     HORDE Tour:  Neal Young wanted to be the 
     only Sixties act on the tour.  (Hey folks, 
     not only the VPs screw the bands.)

5.  Yearly income of Wayne Kramer from touring, 
     record deal with Epitaph and tour support:  $47,000.
    (Sounds good until you live the life that goes with it.)
    Amount earned by his band:  He is too embarassed to 
   admit it.

6.  Income of Green On Red keyboardist after thirty 
    and fifty thousand  albums sold in Europe and two 
    month tour:  $50,000.

7.  Over last three year period on ninety thousand 
     titles, 3 percent of albums account for 72 percent of
     sales.  67 percent sold less than a thousand copies 
     each.  Your odds of becoming a rock star are slightly 
     less than winning the lottery.

8.  Between 1990 and 1996, total value of unit shipments 
     rose from  7.5 to 12.5 billion dollars.  Average base salaries 
    of label employees which is augmented by average 75% after 
    bonuses: 

General Managers and Exec VPs:  $500,000 + 75%
Promotion Heads:  $300,000 to $400,000+ 75%
Sales Heads:  $250,000+ 75%
Publicity VPs:  $175,000 to $200,000+ 75%
 (lower because most of these are women)

9.  Bright spot:  You have a small advantage as an 
     unsigned artist because you are much cheaper than 
    a veteran in a position to renegotiate.   OTH, they are
    not inclined to let you stay in the business long 
    enough to become a free agent with the numbers lining 
    up at the door to take your place.  Don't believe it: go to 
   an audition for songwriters at the Bluebird Cafe in Nashville.

10.  Roadie salaries with two to three years experience:  $600 per week. 
       If A-list Roadie:  $500 a day.

11.  Think the club owners are screwing you? Well, maybe the lead 
       girl singer in the band, but as to cost, the club owner has to 
      sell average $1000 of liquor on a weekday and $3500 on a 
       weekend day to break even on a 500 seat club.

12.  Top Remixer:  $50,000 plus points per project.

13.  Songwriters (good money here):  for the Henry Rollins 
      cover of GhostRider on The Crow, Vega and Rev each get 
      $100,000 on international sales of 3.5 million units.  Jules 
      Shear gets $250,000 per year for Cyndi Lauper, The Bangles 
     and Allision Moyet hits.  (That is why the line into the 
     Bluebird is that long, folks.)

14.  Average album advance by new major label artist: 
      $250,000.  Cost of producer up front:  $75,000.  BTW, 
      all of the production costs come out of that pot.  The 
      band goes into the red for the cost of making the album 
      all of which must be recouped before penny one is 
      paid to the band.   

15.  Advance to Alanis Morrissette and Hootie and 
      The Blowfish:  $75 to $100,000.  Cheap!    Reward to 
     A&R exec who recruited them:  piece of company, 
     million dollar bonus, and $40,000 BMW.

NOTE To Peter F-M:  Give up the HomeGround mag, get a label 
job at EMI, and buy a new car for Krys.  After all these 
years, you should have some pull somewhere.

16.  Collective Soul sells three million copies of 
       first two albums.  Change in life consisted of:
      Broke.  Living with parents.  Practicing in 
      rented cabin.  $150 a week income.

17.  TLC.  Ten million sales.  Files for bankruptcy.

18.  Toss this one in for free because I don't 
      have to verify it; I know it.  Average pay per 
      man for a rock band in Alabama per night 
      in 1975:  $50   Average pay in 1997:  $50
     Given inflation, we pay the nightclub now.

So, anyone asking why Kate doesn't tour, makes 
an album when she pleases, tells EMI to stick 
it when she pleases, and still has the temerity 
to be the greatest female composer of our time, 
look at the rewards:  "if ya can't please everyone, 
ya got to please yourself".

BTW:  my favorite middle act of a Kate Bush tour 
would be her hiring Padma Menon to choreograph, 
and performing Kathak or BhaktiNayam pieces.  She 
has the voice and the moves.  The costumes would 
be big and heavy but the makeup would cover the 
dimple and she would tour with great gals for company.

Then to close the show, she could just sit at the 
piano and sing.  Y'all pick the opener.

len