Re: A Yank's Guide to British Press

[Richard Bensam <rabensam@earthlink.net>]

Stev0 wrote:

>A GUIDE TO BRITISH JOURNALISM FOR YANKS (Music
>Editition).
>
>1.  Find new band (This is usually easy - pick one who just
>made their first cover of NME).
>
>2.  Call band "The next Beatles".
>
>3.  The next week, call the band "BETTER than the Beatles!"
>
>4.  The next week, call the members of the band Major Deities.
>
>5.  Band releases album.
>
>6.  Call album "Work of sheer genius".  Prattle on for 7 or 8 pages
>about it.
>
>7.  Band has the gall to release a SECOND album.
>
>8.  Call album "Worst you're ever heard", say EVERYTHING the
>band has ever done is "pure shite", call band members "The most
>talentless wankers you've had the displeasure of being subjected
>to", and all the band member's mothers are "cheap whores".
>
>9.  Find new band, start again.

You left out step 8a (or thereabouts): goad member of band into saying
something inflammatory and/or derogatory about another NME cover-featured
band or performer; solicit angry response and counter-charge from targeted
performer; present as "major feud" (between groups or individuals who in
real life have probably never even met one another) and encourage readers
to take sides.  Loads of free publicity for all concerned, ahoy!

The only examples I can recall from Kate history are the gossip columnist
who quoted Youth as calling Del Palmer a "wally" -- which he may not ever
have said, and the Kate camp wisely declined to respond -- and the endless
reader polls to decide who was "better": Kate or Debbie Harry (when Kate
was first starting out), Kate or Annie Lennox (who is on record as a big
Kate fan!), Kate or Tori Spelling, ad infinitum.

If only Tori would have the sense to call Kate a blimp or something, the
NME would probably think it had died and gone to heaven!

That said, the "Wacko Jacko" / "Wacko Princeo" / "Wacko Kateo" tactic is
also a venerable ploy, and if it leads to a publicity-getting angry
rebuttal from the offended party, so much the better.


Wacko Ricko

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