RE: To Tour or Not To Tour

[Len Bullard <cbullard@HiWAAY.net>]

[john sez]

>that is the question!  I've only been here a couple of years but I've 
>seen this one cross the ol' CRT at least once or twice before 
>already...........

Yep.  Hope eternal... then there was that promise she 
made to tour a few years back.  I was really hoping she 
would keep her word, but not to her fans, I guess.

>I don't think it really matters what any of us think about what Kate 
>will or will not do.  She more than likely is not going to, ever.  End of
>discussion.  

I'm not so sure.  The problem is, after not doing it for so long,
she would have to work pretty hard to get the audiences needed 
to fill the auditoriums.  She isn't Tori Amos, ya know.  You have to
be popular to work the American A-series halls.  Otherwise, you 
are condemmed to be a front act for a popular act, or just do the 
salad circuit in places like.... Huntsville.

>Would she grow as an artist through the experience? 

Yes.  What is more, she would grow as a human being, and 
that would translate to growth as an artist.

> Would it be as perfect as her albums?  No.  

True, but she would be Kate Bush, and that would be 
better than perfection.

> Would we all kill for front row tickets? 

Well, most of the front row would be bought by loveHounds,
so we'd have to kill a few of them.   Could be fun.  OTH, we 
could rig up a networked DOOM game and do it virtually.
Losers would sit back in the nosebleed seats.  Real 
losers would fix 404 errors on Gaffaweb.

> She could perform a cappella in her 
> bathrobe and I'd be there!

In that case, we'd have to kill all the Tori Amos fans too.
If she would loan Kate her pig, we might have to kill 
a few Madonna fans as well.

> A more interesting point to ponder, perhaps, is what would motivate Kate 
> to tour? 

Good topic!!!  We could start with money.  She probably has 
a lot, but more is better in England where it is the only defense
for being born middle class.

1.  Mother Teresa makes a public plea stating that the mental 
health of the world's KateCultists is in dire need of a reality fix.

2.  Tori Amos finally makes a public statement that Kate is a
has-been and that Tori could whip her ass with one hand 
tied to her piano stool.

3.  Del decides to become Madonna's male nanny.

4.  Prince Charles decides Kate is the love of his life.
She is on the next flight out of Gatwick to anywhere.

5.  Kit-Kats and Dunhills are declared controlled 
substances in England but of course, the Dutch 
sell them in coffee shops.

6.  She decides to show that Bullard person what 
a real witch can do.  The croaking sound from the 
frog on the bandstand is her proof to the world.

7.  She realizes that Stev0 is the love of her life 
but is dejected when he disses her framed love
note on the WWW.  Only touring will salve her 
broken heart.

8.   Hell freezes over.  She decides that is 
more comfortable than another winter in England.

9.  She and Diana Windsor come out of the closet and decide 
to become bit players on the Ellen DeGeneres series.

10.  She decides to give a little bit of love back to 
those who have also given so much for so long.
 
> She owes us nothing, having already given so much. 

She owes me four pounds for a meal in East London, but 
I guess I shouldn't have upset her with that crack about 
her hair.  It was hell getting the curry out of my tie.

> But Len, don't give up!  Maybe she'll reconsider......

Never give up.  Never.  But I'll keep my hopes for 
her tour in the same box as my confederate money and
Wallace For President bumper stickers.

len