Oh England, My Leotard

[btd@carina.cray.com (Bryan Dongray)]

Emmy came down and wrote:
>     And I have a question too.. Has anyone ever transcribed the lyrics for
> the 9 o'clock news parody, 'Oh England, my leotard'.. I'd love to see those..

Not me personally, but I keep this sort of thing, here's what I have,
I'm sure others need reminding, and those who don't can do with a
good laugh as they remember!

			Bryan Dongray

"I don't know why I'm Bryan. Am I suspended in Gaffa?" quoted to
me by Wieland, who needs to have quoted back at him:
"That cloud, that cloud, looks like Wieland. C'mon and blow him a kiss now"
Met Mix (of course).
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Here are the lyrics to "England my Leotard", Hum (to sing with closed lips 
with-out words or articulation to you in the USA :) "Them Heavy People" to it.
Also bear in mind that alot of the humour was based on the way it was sang 
Hence By-a-buble. Also appropiate backing vocal added an extra dimension !

Ok some of you might not approve of this send up of the beloved Kate. Bear in 
mind that a mention on "Not the Nine O'clock News" in those days, showed you had
made it.

LEOTARD
-------

(c) Peter Brewis   (pbrewis@cix.compulink.co.uk)

I was into yin and yang and hatha yoga
Ginseng and caraway seeds and being a non-smoker
My cauliflower quiches were better than the bought ones
And I was thicker than two short ones
People bought my latest hits
Cos they liked my latex tits
Everyone trying hard
To get inside my leotard

Went to my hairdresser to have a hair-do (hair do-be-do-be-do)
He asked if I knew A La Recherche De Temps Perdus
That's how I was introduced to Colette, Cocteau and Marcel Proust
Now wholefood cookery is just a sideline

(Shrill 'La-La-la' middle eight.)

I went to Cairo and I read the Gnostic
Apocryphon of John in the original Coptic
Korsakoff's psychosis theories
And the Fibonacci series
Studied acupuncture and the Bible - the Byabubble -
Opened the windows in my mind

'It's not your mind, it's your body they're into-oo-oo'
My business-manager said.
He said that I need an intellect like I need a 
Hole hole in the in the hole in the head

Though I'm an honorary member of Mensa now
I have to try and keep up a pretence somehow
'Cos you buy my latest hits
Because you like my latex tits
And you're all trying hard to get inside my
Leotard leotard leotard

Oh England, my leotard
Ooh ooh ooh ooh 

(High, MELISMATIC 'ooh's, increasingly varispeeded up in pitch until
they're so high only dogs can hear them. and tall ones at that.)