Windows 95 -- Does it really work?

[helpme95@ix.netcom.com]

   It's been working great for me (in test versions)
   since May.

   Because WINDOWS 95 seems to be of almost universal
   interest, I'm posting to a wide variety of computer
   users.

   Take the advice of someone at a lonely computer
   terminal who's been around the block a few times.
   [E-mail helpme-95@zoom.com for even more info.]

   >>>>>Into scifi?  Take a look four paragraphs down!

   I'm tired.  I wanted it easier.  WINDOWS 95 has made
   it that way.  No, the four horsemen didn't make
   an appearance when I started using WINDOWS 95, and
   it wasn't as important as a Beatles reunion or a Pearl
   Jam up-close-and-personal visit or winning a marathon
   (or the lottery).  I haven't yet felt the aura of
   Bill Gates floating about my monitor.  (I didn't
   notice a halo around his head, anyway.)

   WINDOWS 95 does have lots of advantages, though.  And
   it is important that you make the best possible use
   of WINDOWS 95 should you decide to fork over your hard-
   earned bucks to get the second coming of WINDOWS.
     
   I have an informative and fun newsletter about the new
   stuff--and thought you might like to see it.  Free,
   of course.  I'm cheap, too!  Forgive me, I mean
   FRUGAL!   E-mail me at helpme-95@zoom.com for the
   newsletter, and I will be most happy to rush it back
   to you.
   
   From one computer user to another--we all try to do this
   better and faster whether it's our livelihood or our
   hobby.  Try me!

   C'mon, people, lighten up.  It's WINDOWS 95...
   Have fun!!!

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   AND NOW, FOR THE SCI-FI DREAM SEQUENCE  (Just couldn't
   resist getting this thing published somewhere!)

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        "The truth is out there."  Moldier sighed as he
   looked up to the stars in the dark night sky.  "Yeah,
   sure," replied Scuzzy, "you keep sayin' that but we
   never go anywhere except those dark buildings where we
   get to use our flashlights."  "Trust me."  "Yeah,
   sure--like I trusted you with my car and you got it
   all banged up and then left me in the clutches of that
   alien?  I don't trust nobody no more."  Moldier begged,
   "Ah, come on, please let me drive just once more?  I
   promise no more aliens for this week."  Scuzzy mumbled
   under her breath something about red shoes and diaries
   and handed him the keys.

        At that moment, the sky above them came alive with
   lights flashing and weird soundss.  "What the @#%?><&???",
   yelled Moldier as he dove to the ground, grabbing
   Scuzzy.  It was huge and white and was disc shaped with
   two side rockets.  It tried to strafe them with bolts
   of energy, but luckily missed them.  The car, however,
   got a toasted paint job and the tires melted.

        Meanwhile, above in the spacecraft, a strange being
   with pointed ears and his friend were arguing.  "Look
   at that--you MISSED them!  I can't believe this!"  The
   friend was having trouble.  "I don't know what it is--
   I know I programmed this scenario okay."  "The pointy-
   eared fellow laughed and said, "You don't have that
   new program from Microsoft, do you?  How many times did
   I tell you that it'll make your calculations easier and
   more accurate? But would you listen to me?  Noooooooo!"

        Church turned around to take a swipe at Speck,
   but Speck was too fast for him and did a tuck-and-
   roll out of they way.  Church turned again to his
   computer screen, but Speck stopped him.  "Let's try
   this on my computer," he said.  Church gave in 
   grudgingly and Speck set up the run.

        Down below, Scuzzy and Moldier were zig-zagging
   through the field, trying to evade the alien ship.
   I'll get you for this, Moldier," panted Scuzzy, as she
   dodged another energy bolt.  Moldier was too busy to
   reply, since he was sprinting faster than an Olympic-
   class runner.

        Seconds later, after a particularly nasty surge
   of energy, all that lay in the field were two piles
   of ash and some melted rubber.

        "Got em!", yelled Speck.  "I told you that
   program was easier to set up!"  Church stood by and
   glumly replied, "Yeah, but I bet I can beat you the
   next system we're in.  Let's go someplace we've 
   never been before."  Speck turned to Church and asked,
   "Boldly, sir?"  "But of course", laughed Church.  As
   the ship turned and soared away, the two friends
   looked out the window up at the stars in the dark
   night sky. 

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   For a good time, e-mail me for my newsletter at:
   helpme-95@zoom.com.  See ya there!!
   
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