Ren and Stimpy in: Kate Madness!

[stevev@miser.uoregon.edu (Steve VanDevender)]

Ren:  Look, Steempy, eet's the new Kate Bush seengle.

Stimpy:  Will ya buy it, Ren?  Huh, huh, huh?

Ren:  OK, Steempy.

Stimpy:  Happy, happy, joy, joy!  You're my bestest pal, Ren.

Ren:  Shut up, Steempy.

[Later, at home]

Stimpy:  I wanna put on the CD, Ren.

Ren:  Go ahead, Steempy, calm down.

["Eat the Music" comes on.  Stimpy bounces around the room.  Ren
sits there tapping his fingers.]

Stimpy:  She sure is pretty, Ren.

Ren:  I'm bored, Stimpy.

[The "Eat the Music Excessive 12-inch Mix" comes on.  Stimpy
keeps bouncing around the room.  Ren continues to tap his
fingers.  After a minute he starts to sag visibly.  By the end of
the song he is a small puddle on the floor.  Suddenly he
springs back to his original shape and exclaims:]

Ren:  Steempy, you fat bloated eedeeot!  That was the most boring
piece of music I've ever heard!  How did you ever talk me into
buying thees?

[Then "Big Stripey Lie" comes on.  Suddenly both Ren and Stimpy
freeze in place.  As the song begins, the background fades away.
A gigantic wavy line shoots out of the infinite distance, and
with a horrible impression of speed both are carried along it.
Soon they are deposited in the center of a ring of dancing
surreal tiki-like figures, all facing outwards, who suddenly turn
inwards, produce trumpets, and begin blowing.  Ren and Stimpy
develop fascinating standing wave patterns which crawl around
their skins, growing in amplitude until their bodies dissolve
into a shower of particles.

Cut to a jungle scene.  A rainshower has begun, and as the rain
falls the bodies of Ren and Stimpy reform from raindrops.  They
lay prone on the jungle floor.  Just as they try to get up a
stampede of wild animals runs over them, trailed by a tiny
screeching monkey with the face of Kate Bush.  They pull their
trampled bodies off the ground and run panicking through the
trees as the light fades.  When it is so dark that only their
eyes are visible, they suddenly plummet through a field of stars
and onto the wavy line, which carries them back to their living
room.  The song ends.]

Ren:  Steempy, what heet me.

Stimpy:  Wow, Ren, she really is.  Happy.  Happy.  Joy . . . joy.
[Collapses.]

[They lay unconscious on the floor as "Candle in the Wind" begins
to play.  It does not rouse them.]