Re: MAgic 101: soft vs hard media

[jondr@sco.COM]

Jorn Barger writes:
>I think what's wrong with CDs as a recording medium is that, being 
>digital, they're unable to *absorb any imprint* from you and your 
>feelings as you listen to the songs recorded on them, the 'emotional 
>scent' of the life you felt yourself living at that time.  So when you 
>listen *now* to old analog media-- vinyl or tape-- you feel something of 
>that time, something particular to *that piece* of vinyl or plastic that 
>*you* vibed with then, much more sensually than you'll ever feel again in 
>these CD-times, listening back a decade or two from now.

This is absolutely false.  Any good mysticist will tell you that CDs
are made of a formulation that is absolutely splendid for recording
psychotropic vibrations in the noosphere.  Lexan (the plastic outer
casing) is a perfect focusing agent, and aluminum has long been
revered by mysticists for its ability to store psychic images.  Couple
this with the high energy potential of a laser beam in full swing and
watch out, world!

The technical name for this process is "glomping", as in, "Dammit,
these dang thoughtforms have glomped up my prized CD collection!  Now
every time I listen to ``Whitney Houston's Lamest Hits,'' I recall the
time I passed a major kidney stone!"

Of course, this process won't work with Mobile Fidelity Sound Labs
gold-plated CDs because gold is entirely unsuitable for recording
mental impressions.  Gold *is* favored by some mystic circles, who use
gold-plated gongs in ritual ceremonies for the accumulation of male
sexual energy, but this is a different matter entirely.

Also, the aluminum used by most CD plants may not be suitable for long
term "glomping."  As CDs are still in their (relative) infancy, this
problem might not be noticeable today, but imagine your horror in ten
years time when you pull out a CD and, instead of recalling the night
that you made love for six hours to the most beautiful woman you'd
ever met, you recall the time that you were downtown and got a parking
ticket cos you spaced and thought it was sunday and the meters weren't
being checked!

Right now there's a ground-breaking lawsuit in progress.  A family in
Nebraska is suing the Disque Amerique CD plant because they suspect
that a disgruntled employee facing an unjust layoff deliberately
"imprinted" several hundred "Guns 'n' Roses" CDs with "negative
empathetic thought resonances," causing their 15 year old daughter to
suffer extreme nightmares.  The plant disclaims responsibility.

I recently had cause to encounter the new concern in the music
industry for psychic phenomena when I was shopping for a plant at
which to press my new CD.  Except for two plants, all the contracts I
saw had "psychic indemnity clauses" which stated that I would not hold
the plant responsible for mental anguish caused by listening to my CD.
Obviously this is a new rider added since the G'n'R lawsuit.

Really, Jorn, I'd have thought that someone of your reputation would
read up on the subject before posting such nonsense.

Over and out...

-- 
Jon Drukman (an emulsifier)                                       jondr@sco.com
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