Love-Hounds Digest #7.361

[caen!bsbbs!mdc@harvard.harvard.edu (Melissa D. Caldwell)]

henrik@echelon.UUCP (Larry DeLuca) writes:

> 
> Psychological and emotional pressure are much more powerful forces because
> they are more elusive - in many ways it's easier to stand your ground
> against an attacker who is beating on you physically than one who is 
> concentrating on breaking down a psychological barrier, because the former
> is much more direct - it's tangible - you can see a physical bruise - 
> you can try to deflect a penis making its way toward your vagina - you
> can sit in the front seat of a bus or at a lunch counter and refuse to move.
> 
> But psychological pressure is different - when someone says "If you really
> loved me you'd sleep with me" or "It's only because you're frigid that 
> you won't sleep with me" or "Only immoral people would want to listen to
> that music" the attacker crawls under the skin - causing you to doubt 
> yourself.  It takes a much stronger defense to battle these sorts of
> attacks effectively, and because the constraints of physical force are
> removed, the attacker can sustain himself/herself for much longer periods
> of time.
> 
I think your equating "psychological force" with physical force and rape 
is disgusting and sexist.  Anyone can say no to even the most convincing 
argument if they really want to.  Nobody can say no to a gun or a knife.

Psychological pressure cannot harm me unless there is some underlying 
threat of physical abuse.  I don't care if someone thinks I might be 
"frigid" or "immoral".  Their opinions cannot hurt me unless I allow them 
to. 


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