self explanitory

[JDTURN%UMASS.BITNET@wiscvm.wisc.edu (Joe Turner)]

Seeing as there is a delay between each LoveHounds digest of about 10
years, in order to placate those who need a more frequent fix, I see it as
my public duty to present this Love-Hounds substitute. Whenever you feel a
need to read the latest LH postings, just read this and while it is not
quite as satisfactory, all that is needed is some date-changing and you
will be all set. So, without further ado, I present:

                                Lust-Hounds

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Origin: Some_Guy_Named_Phil@Lalaland
Sent_From: ABCDEFGIgotagal@Kalamazoo
I_do_not_like: Them(Here.or.there) I_do_not(Like#them)anywhere
From: Lust_Hounds.digest
Date: Sept. 31, 1987
Time: 25:00:00 Dukes(Stratosphere)
Subj: Lust-hounds posting for 1987
Bounced-Back: about_300_times
Finally_arrived: Left_turn(taken)@Albuqurque
Header.lines: 2(many)
Get_on: (With.it)Already

From: RexReed@Hollywood
Date: Aug. 31, 1987
Subj: Record Review.

Hello!
    Since no Lust Hounds posting is complete without at least on record
and/or concert review, I thought I would give the honors of doing this
week's.
    Unfortunately, I didn't either buy any records this week, nor did I see
any shows. So I'll review an album I picked up a few weeks ago.

    The Ramones: "Yes, We're Still Alive" (Sire)

Side one: "Let's go Surfing"
Joey yells "1-2-3-4" and then guitars and drums play real fast and I really
can't make out the words but it may have something to do with surfing.

"I Wanna Speak Good"
Dee Dee yells "1-2-3-4" and then guitars etc. etc. etc.

"The Man With The Child in His Eyes"
(Yes, this IS a cover of the Kate song.)
Joey yells "1-2-3-4" and guitars and drums play real fast and the song
sounds surprisingly like "I Wanna Speak Good"

"Brain Cells Bye-Bye"
A ballad.

"Who Remembers the Ramones, Anyway?"
Dee Dee yells "1-2-3-4". That's it. That's the entire song.

"Aqualung"
This is NOT a cover of the Jethro Tull song. It is an ode to someone who
wiped out while surfing. The tune is the same as "Let's go Surfing".

Side Two: Exactly like side one.
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From: IUD.Verbose.posting
Date: Today
Subj: Today's ramblings

>I recently picked up a CD called "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band"
>by a group called "The Beatles" (Or maybe it's the other way around."
>Would anyone have any other information on this band? How about any other
>recommended CD's to get?

>--Yon Drunkman

IUD notes that their first album, simply a self-titled album (commonly
called "The Beatle's Self-Titled Album") is out on CD. However, IUD
recommends waiTing a couple of days before picKing iT up to see if any
video clips from iT will be shown on NighT FlighT.

Also, IUD is happy to announce a rare Kate inTerview he found whilst
browsing through some old Kopies of "Metallic Madness Magazine".

(Dated Feb. 17, 1968)

MMM: I am now talking to Kate Bush, a precocious little twerp who's going
to be a household word in about 10 years or so.  Kate, you don't mind if I
call you Kate, do you?
Kate:  Not at all. It is a rather plain name, I admit, but once someone
invents the 12" extended remix, I was thinking of changing it the
"Katherine", "Kathy", or maybe even just "Kate." Oh, silly me, that IS my
name already, isn't it?
MMM: I realize it is a bit early to interview this plucky
soon-to-be-superstar, but I was wondering, do you see yourself recording
any heavy metal in the near future?
Kate: I think I will experiment with several different styles of music,
ranging from hard rock all the way to soft rock. I am very open in my
musical tastes, and will not stick to any one set label of music. By the
way, what's heavy metal?
MMM: It's a loud, driving form of rock that will appear in a year or two
that white male teenagers will play for the sole purpose of annoying their
parents.
    So, what are your influences, Kate?
Kate: Cor, look at the time! I have to meet Peter Gabriel, and we're going
to do a duet singing about the latency period.  Taa-taa!
MMM: So there you have it, Kate Bush: Future Rock Superstar, and Master of
Metal.

Now, any other Lusthounder would sTop their posTing at this poinT, but IUD
refuses to post anything that is less than 11 pages, so he will go on and
on righT now, even though he really does not have anything to say.  Did I
mention that The Whole Story is now available on vinyl?  (Yes, hard to
believe, but they still make records on vinyl).  IUD sold his turntable as
soon as he got his CD player.  On the other hand, he also sold his
turntable several years ago when he got his 8-Track player, too, so he is
not maKing any guarantees. Did IUD tell you what he had for breaKfasT
today? He started out with a bowl of Captain Crunch (with Crunchberries)

        [ 17 pages truncated -- :)ugg ]

with a melon.

-- Andrew Martian
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From: Vet0@UMass.Enianc
Date: Aug. 12, 1987
Subj: Kate Hidden Meanings

>> I was thinking about "There Goes a Tenner" the other day. Now, exactly,
>>what DOES Kate mean by this title? At first, naturally, I thought
>>"Tenner" was from the common expression for a Ten Pound note. But could
>>Kate actually be meaning 'Tenor', as in someone who sings very high? Any
>>comments?
>
>Indeed, the title is a play on words. "There goes a Tenor" refers to
>Kate's end to sounding like The Chipmunks, to her newer style of singing,
>which she refers to as "My Newer Style of Singing."

I had read in a local Kate Fanzine, "Big Science" (OK, so it's not a very
good name for a Kate fanzine), that the title refers IS a play on words with
"There Goes a Tenor", but it refers to how Kate was originally going to do
the title cut, "The Dreaming", as a duet with Barry Gibb of the BeeGees,
but he canceled out at the last minute because of a clause in his contract
that forbid him to do anything that had "Artistic Merit". And yes, Barry
Gibb IS the "him" that Kate & gang used to vote for.

-- Steev Bonn
"Ah, ah, ah, ah Stayin' Alive, Stayin' Alive..."

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From: Some_Chap@England
Date: Dec 13, 1986
Subj: Being in England

Hello, My American Cousins!

  Well, I'm here in jolly old England, JUST LIKE KATE IS! Anyway, things
are certainly Kate-ian here!  For instance, I went shopping at a
greengrocer's today! Now, I know it is just like your American Cumberland
Farms, but they don't sell Jolt here, JUST LIKE THEY DON'T SELL IN THE STORES
KATE SHOPS AT!

  What else?  I didn't go to the bathroom, nope, not here in England (where
Kate lives!) No, I went to the loo! (JUST LIKE KATE PROBABLY DOES!)

      [ I doubt it -- :)ugg ]

And I went on a LIFT today. Not an elevator, a LIFT! That's what they call
them here in England! That's what KATE calls them! Oh, the similarities
between myself and Kate are staggering!  God, I love it here!  I think I'll
put on the title cut to "Lionheart" for the 37th time today.  I only wish I
remembered what TOWN Kate lives in...

Some Chap in England
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From: Fulavit@UMass.Univax
Date: Sept. 15 1987
Subj: XTC

> Can anyone recommend any XTC records to buy?

I strongly urge you to buy the 12" extended disco remix of "Like a Virgin",
which is the very best song ever recorded in the history of the Universe.
With the possible exception of "Papa Don't Preach", which is ALSO the very
best song ever recorded in the history of the Universe.

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought we were talking about someone else. I never really
heard of XTC before. What do they do?

Also, with the Lusthounds tape, Tape #17 just left Tipper Gore in
Washington, D.C. with her selections, "Paper Roses" by Marie Osmond,
"Feelings" by Barry Manilow, "You Light Up my Life" by Debbie Boone, and
"Too Drunk to Fuck" by the Dead Kennedys. It is now heading to Ricky
Ricardo of Havana, Cuba.
-- Liter Pee
"There's a Lady who knows
All that Glitters is Gold
And She's Buying a Stairway to Heaven"
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From: Pete Best@Yoko's Place
Date: Sept. 1, 1987
Subj: Beat the Meatles

>I recently picked up a CD called "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band"
>by a group called "The Beatles" (Or maybe it's the other way around."
>Would anyone have any other information on this band? How about any other
>recommended CD's to get?

>--Yon Drunkman

I am familiar with this band. They are from the mid-70's (Not the mid-50's,
like Toe Jurner reported last posting).  However, they are totally
irrelevant to any serious music lover, since they do not have ONE SINGLE
12" extended disco remix! They DO have a couple of different versions of a
song of theirs called "Revolution", but both versions are rather horrible.
Not one single drum machine in the entire song! And both versions are under
5 minutes!! And they want to be taken seriously -- Good luck, guys!

-- Pete Best
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From: Dugg Allenwrench@Lust-Hounds Central

Well, there you have it, this month's posting. See you next month!

:)ugg



This is Steve again. The above piece is a PARODY. If anyone is offended, just
stick one giant ":)" right HERE, OK?

Steve.