Right Planet, Wrong Medium

["ROSSI J.A." <rossi@nusc.ARPA>]

Shelli,

I'm new to this 'guess the NET' addressing game and wouldn't even attempt
to try to send mail directly to your address (tries to much less lengthy
addresses have failed me in the past).  In response to your inquiry,
I do believe that the answer would be somewhat verbose, however, here
goes....

It was about 3:00 am and I was performing the last lateral-hypothalamic
rat-brain electrode implant of the day (about Summer, 1982).  I was
wearing my Walkman and tuned into WIOT Toledo.  Just as I was suturing 
SEX came over the waves (this may not sound like much, but that was
probably the most progressive thing ever played on that station .. normal
mid-western fare station, Ozzie, Ted Nugent etc).  It was unidentified,
and in the haze brought upon by the time factor as well as being in an
unventilated surgery suite with several unopened bottles of dental
acrylic hardner (heavy on the toluene, I think), I actually wondered
if I was halucinating, especially when I heard what I thought was FUCK
ME at the end of the piece.  After determining that I did hear the song,
I tried calling WIOT to find out what it was.  The DJ claimed that it was
never played.  I stopped thinking about it and got loaded.

About two years later, I saw a Night-Flight concerning 'Sex in Music', or
some such topic.  Sure enough, they played the SEX video, and I learned
of the existence of the band Berlin.  Once I realized what I was hearing/
seeing, my attention was drawn to the close of the tune, but alas (more 
Pournelle rub off), no indication of subdued obscenities at the end.
Since I now realized I had heard this song in the surgery that night my
interests were peaked (pun?) and I ran off to get the Pleasure Victim
album the next day.

I listened to the SEX track, and confirmed the existence of FUCK something
or other in the moans at the end.  I became more obsessed with the METRO track
than SEX, however, and again, I failed to confirm the FUCK ME line.

About a month later, I recounted this whole thing with a sound engineer
friend of mine (ex audiologist/synthesist), he insisted that the signal to
noise ratio of the lyrics in the moans, coupled with the frequency attenuation
from FM transmission, would have made it impossible for me to hear what
was spoken at the end of the track.  I then played the track for him and
he agreed that there was a FUCK something spoken in the moans at the end. Now,
he had access to all this sound processing equipment for digital filtering
and analysis of audiograms, as well as a speed translating device which
is used, i believe, in speech recognition improvement paradigms.  We
encoded the last 15 secs of the SEX track and processed it with the
equipment.  When the signal/noise ratio between the moans and the speech
was maximized, it was unquestionable that the words were FUCK ME, FUCK ME. I
must confess, however, that the second FUCK ME could have possibly been
another UCK word (e.g., suck) but it was definately not any word related
to anal sex.

End of story .... (Told you it would be verbose)

By the way, If anyone knows how to mail directly to multi "!"ed addresses
directly from a generic MILNET or ARPANET Host, please clue me in.

"Only timw ccan Close the Door"

John

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