Sad Kate

[Richard Bensam <rabensam@earthlink.net>]

Matt Humphrey wrote:

>Also, re: Kate and depression.  I was among the lucky people who got
>to meet her at Tower records in NYC the winter after the Red Shoes
>came out.  She seemed *genuinely* moved by meeting us fans.  She
>ignored the one-autograph-only rule and signed whatever a person
>brought.  A friend of mine was working there that day, and she told me
>that Kate stayed a good 45 minutes longer than she was scheduled to.
>Whatever her state of mind at the time, she was simply radiating great
>feelings on that particular day.
>
>As someone who has suffered serious depression in the past, I honestly
>don't believe that Kate would have made the effort to visit another
>continent and, in particular, to make this kind of personal appearance
>if she were seriously depressed.  I also have to believe that she, as
>a person who once considered a career in psychology, would have the
>sense to get help if she were teetering on the edge.
>
>And she does appear on the cover of TLTC&TC video, and a couple of the
>Red Shoes singles, so I'm assuming she's okay.

I tend to agree with this.

Harking back to the original post by Chris, I agree that a number of
aspects of The Red Shoes are disturbing -- though as I've said before, I
feel these are the result of deliberate artistic decisions, to convey
precisely that disturbing effect.   I can also attest that the British are
notorious for a cultural resistance to expressing or dealing with negative
feelings.  "Keep a stiff upper lip" is the common cliche, of course --
likewise "cheer up, it may never happen" and "don't be so sensitive" and
"just muddle through somehow."  There are times when such comments may even
be appropriate, but at other times they can be grossly insensitive.  I've
seen all too many British people react with embarassment or outright
annoyance when dealing with someone who needs support and attention.

(One English friend of mine suffered from difficult emotional problems, and
took the relatively atypical step of seeking professional counselling.  As
it happens, it helped him a great deal and everyone was secretly very glad
of this.  But I once had to defend him from what I can only describe as a
harangue from one of his other "friends" who simply refused to believe that
anyone should ever, under any circumstances, see a therapist.  "You should
just go down the pub and talk it out with your mates!" he insisted -- his
exact words.  And what, I wondered, if your mates were part of the problem?
Anyway, my friend later took me aside and privately thanked me for standing
up for him...and said he couldn't have said anything on his own behalf
because he was too embarassed.)

Anyway, back to Kate.  Having faulted the British for stigmatizing
emotional distress, we shouldn't turn around and make the mistake of
pathologizing all depression.  The hallmark of clinical depression is that
it is an *inappropriate* response to one's situation.  One is unbearably
sad for no apparent reason.  Kate, on the other hand, went through a period
of great loss -- especially, the loss of one of her parents could not help
but be traumatic, given how close she was to both of them -- so if she was
depressed, this was perfectly natural and reasonable.  If she had NOT been
extremely saddened, this would have been a serious problem and cause for
concern.  Loss and coping with loss are, if you'll pardon the expression,
the human condition...and expressing it through art is a perfectly healthy
response.

I might also add that for all the sadness in TLTC&TC, there are also
moments of joy and mordant humor.  I think (I hope!) Kate found the
catharsis she needed.


RAB
(Anyone can use big words!  It's easy and it's fun!  For a translation of
this essay, send a stamped self-addressed envelope to...)

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