An apology (*NO* flames, honest)

[caen!bsbbs!cynthia@harvard.harvard.edu (Cynthia Rosas)]

katefans@chinet.chi.il.us (Chris n Vickie) writes:

> It's very odd. In one group (gaffa) I'm considered a "character" who is
> bad-tempered and mouthy, and in another group (ecto) I'm the warm, 
> friendly, loving, "Ecto-mom" who has never uttered a flame. Well, very
> rarely, a tiny glowing ember here and there, but generally I'm very
> perky and wordy and friendly. What's wrong with this picture? I know.
 
Well, I don't know about Ecto, but speaking for myslef, I
don't consider you "bad-tempered" and "mouthy".  I consider
you bright, prone to respond in an overemotional manner as
opposed to thinking it out more first, and verbose?  Sure.
But, interesting, even when I'm vehemently disagreeing with
you.  I think sometimes your rationale can be "goofy", I think
I've said that about your reasoning on things in the past, but
I defend to the death your right to be "goofy" in my eyes
sometimes, and well-thought out at other times.
I don't think of people in terms of "characters" so much, as
the characterization almost never holds true from situation to
situation, as people are so variable.  Labels rarely offer a
good description.  Sorta like the Pop music thing. :-)

> On gaffa, a group that I love and am greatful for, I've let a few people
> get under my skin. I let my bad (but almost always dormant) temper show,
> and, since I an a lousy arguer, end up looking like a shrew. I don't 
> apoligise for my opinions (which haven't changed in the slightest) but
> rather for my methods of flamage. My blood pressure can't take it, neither
> can my peace of mind. Therefore, I have put the BS-BBS folks into a mental
> KILL file, along with a few others, so I won't even know when they are
> being rude, or saying something *I* might perceive to be rude.
 
Well, that's fine, whatever makes you feel better.  You
apologize for your methods of flamage?  Then change
your methods!  You can get an opinion out, even a negative one
without saying stuff that makes _you_ wince!  There's no need
NOT to say what you think though.

> Richard or Melissa and they don't think much of me either. Strangely
> enough, I do like many things about Cynthia and Jon Drukman, even though
> both have pissed me off enormously in the past, and probably will again
> if I let myself get angry. I will *not* let myself. I'm much more
> comfortable and peaceful in the Ecto-mom-type role than in the shrew role.
 
Well, that's fine, but gee, is getting angry the END of the
world?  Why?  Does anger mean it's expression MUST be
shrew-like?  Why, Vickie?

> Peace, honestly, deeply and sincerely....is what I want and I'll keep my
> temper and mouth in check from now on. 
> 
> Vickie Ann Mapes
 
That's swell!  But you don't have to put duct tape, or ha-
gaffa tape on your mouth or your emotions.  So, you don't keep
everything in "check" all the time.  SO what?  We'll live,
Love-Hounds/gaffa will live, it's NOT such a cataclysmic
problem!  AT least, that's what I think.
 
No, obviously I don't agree with your post to Richard, I tend
to agree with what he said in response more, but so what?
You still could have made all your points to him and......his
"kind" (that tickled me), without being rude by _your own_
standards.  But you lost your temper.  We all lived and gaffa
and the world is fine.  I'm not trying to be ugly to you here.
I'm just saying, don't take it so seriously, and don't fear
anger _so_ much. That's my 2 cents.


----
Cynthia Rosas <cynthia@bsbbs.UUCP> <{n8emr|nstar}!bluemoon!bsbbs!cynthia>
The Big Sky BBS (+1 614 864 1198)

"I can bitch, I can bitch, cause I'm better than you!"