What is a KaTeFan?

[nbc@inf.rl.ac.uk]

>From:   stev0@sti.com (Steve Berlin)
>Subject: What is a KaTeFan?

>1)  The Kate Fan
>2)  The KaTeFan(tm)
>3)  The KaTeFanaTiK

Surely we need a few more categories. I suggest the following list
should cover most Kate types.

(Loosely based on the old Usenet classifications :-) )

BEGINNER
- thinks Pat Benetar wrote Wuthering Heights
- insecure with the concept of a Kate Newsgroup
- has yet to learn the names of the albums
- hasn't figured out yet how to get anything not sold in Tower

NOVICE
- knows that Kate Bush has had some hit singles and albums
- uses the KT abbreviation, but calls it 'knight'
- has heard of the KBC but never joined it
- has had his first bad experience with 'rec.music.gaffa'
- is wondering if there are any Kate recordings he doesn't have
- is wondering why the person next to him seems to like Kate so much
- thinks that 'gaffa' is a brand of oranges

FAN
- posts to 'rec.music.gaffa', but inexpertly
- has heard of 'the demo-tapes' but never seen them
- goes to record fairs to search for rare items
- has figured out what all the HOL type abbreviations mean
- is wondering how to get a subscription to Homeground
- has attempted to write to Kate and decided to stick with News
- thinks that 'gaffa' can only refer to "gaffa's tape"

KNOWLEDGEABLE FAN
- uses 'rec.music.gaffa' without trouble, and is beginning to answer questions
- is wondering how to get hold of some bootlegs
- thinks that 'IED' is an AI program
- has figured out who 'Ken' and 'The G.L.C.' are
- has learned that reading interviews doesn't help know the "real" Kate
- types in short reviews from magazines
- has formulated an opinion on the meaning of 'gaffa' but doesn't like to say
- thinks that 'rec.music.misc' is for wimps

EXPERT
- knows the titles of every song Kate has written
- posts news about Kate at every possible opportunity
- transcribes multi-page interviews
- has figured out what the secret messages in Kate's songs are
- once wrote a poem about Kate
- thinks that human history started with 'The Kick Inside'
- posts his theory of the meaning of 'gaffa' every other month
- discusses Kate's dancing technique without embarrassment

FANATIC
- talks about backward-masking with comfort
- quotes undocumented facts about Kate's life
- compiles his own collection of Kate facts and interviews
- buys only UK pressings because he doesn't trust the others
- can answer questions about Kate's studio equipment
- writes his own interpretations of Kate's songs to supplement standard ones
- writes pieces for Homeground

GURU
- argues with IED and |>oug with comfort
- writes long treatises on the literary references in Kate's songs
- customizes printed interviews by inserting comments on the intervier's
 ignorance
- reads "The Garden" and "Cloudbusting" with his breakfast
- can answer any Kate question after a little thought
- has learned how to contact Kate's close friends and relatives

WIZARD
- quotes from any Kate interview you mention
- can answer any question on Kate before you ask
- writes his own biography of Kate
- is on a first-name basis with Del, Paddy and Kate

Enjoy,
	Neil

--
Neil Calton                          UUCP:   ..!mcsun!ukc!rlinf!nbc
Informatics Department,              NSFNET: nbc%inf.rl.ac.uk@nsfnet-relay.ac.uk
Rutherford Appleton Laboratory,      BITNET: nbc%uk.ac.rl.inf@ukacrl
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