Katemas in San Jose

[Dances With Voles <jondr@sco.COM>]

Well, all I can say for those who didn't make it to the San Jose Katemas
party is: "sorry."  It was just amazing.  Surrounded by posters, magazines,
discs, videos, postcards, pictures, articles... and a whole bunch of really
neat people that I am Damned Proud to have frittered away 10 hours of my
life with.  Of course, the salutary reception of They Might Be Midgets (me
on technical jiggery pokery, John "The Amazing Relphster" Relph on heavenly
mandolin, and Tracy "Love Goddess" Roberts on vocal orgasmatronics) was
gratifying, and it was really cool to see the rest of the crowd barking their
throats off on "Hounds Of Love."  I just wish I wasn't so occupied trying to
read the sheet music while they were all singing - it looked like they were
having a lot of fun!

Naturally, I have to mention that after 5.5 years of philocanine
involvement, I finally met my eloquent sparring partner, Mr. Andrew Marvick:
the man, the legend, the god.  Somehow I don't think he expected someone as
young as I turned out to be, but we must all bear in mind that I started my
career as a love-hound when I was but a tender lad of 18.  Anyway, Andy was
a delight, and his performance as a John Carder Bush stand-in (on "Jig Of
Life") was First Rate.  His willingness to listen and entertain any point of
view, no matter how clearly insane, was wonderful.  Obviously we have a
classic Jekyll/Hyde dichotomy here between Andrew and IED.  Then again, most
people that know me in real life say the same thing.

>From the point of view of my Kateological studies, the party was an
unqualified smash.  I finally got to see GLC and Les Dogs (both excellent)
and the infamous Japanese videos, which are a scream.  I am probably going
to hang up my Kate parodying gloves after having seen what those Japanese
folks did to "Them Heavy People."  For those not blessed enough to have seen
it... well, words hardly do it justice, but I'll give it a shot.  Basically,
imagine the Lawrence Welk orchestra playing a jazzed-up supermarket muzak
version of Them Heavy People, with two outrageously goggle-eyed Japanese
ladies (in the height of late 70's fashion) singing the words.  Halfway
through, Kate comes jogging onto a set, surrounded by a couple of bone-skinny
Japanese guys wearing long scarves tied around their heads.  They burst into
a routine straight out of Solid Gold, with Kate contorting in some
sub-standard MTV-ready aerobic dance moves.  Unbelievable.  It was just
unbelievable.  Truly the most amazing piece of video I've seen in ages.  I
loved every second of it, and the incredible brain-damage they foisted on
Them Heavy People has made me rue the day I ever decided to put sound to
tape in an attempt to "spice up" some classic KT songs.  Yes folks, those
wily Japanese have made even my Mangled Bloody Remix of Love and Anger seem
totally normal.  I'm going to retire and cut an album of nothing but
waterfall noises accompanied by the shrieks of my pet cockatiel as I jab him
with a knitting needle.

To all who attended, and all KT fans everywhere - happy Katemas!

Jon Drukman                                     uunet!sco!jondr   jondr@sco.com
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Always note the sequencer - this will never let us down.