Re: Just who is Kate Bush?

[tim@toad.com (Tim Maroney)]

In article <8909111736.AA16137@uunet.uu.net> Jim Atkinson wrote:
>I've been reading the bulletin here for some time and discovered that
>this particular group talks mainly about Kate Bush of whose music I greatly
>enjoy.  Even though I like listening to her music I know very little about her.
>Could any one of you please enlighten me about her?

I'm certainly not the most fanatical Kate Bush worshipper here, so I
hope you'll excuse any small factual errors that creep in.

Kate Bush was born a German male, Paul Liederhosen, on the eve of
Hitler's invasion of Poland.  Fleeing the country at the age of 5, she
went first to New Zealand where she learned the fundamentals of crochet
(a lesson that was to serve her in good stead for her entire life,
which tragically ended on April 15 of this year), then to Lisbon to
study for a semester with the ghost of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.  Soon
she surpassed her master and embarked (by aeroplane, her preferred
method of transportation by this time) to the United States, where she
was known for a time under the stage names "Little Richard" and "Chuck
Berry".  But the stress of life as a man soon began to tell on the
plucky youngster, and he availed himself of the new surgical techniques
to become, first, a large aardvark with the name "Ermentricious", and
then finally a woman when that didn't work out as planned.  The rest is
history.

>Could any of you also give me a listing of all her music?

Certainly.  There are only three legitimate Kate Bush releases, called
"Live at Hammersmith Odeon", "ObsKuriTies I", and "ObsKuriTies II".  Most
of what you will find at your record store are bootlegs produced under
false auspices, complete with counterfeit copyright notices.  The only
known unaltered photograph of Kate Bush is found on the "Live" album;
the fangs are a natural result of her transsexualism.  The videos which
you can find are inauthentic and are actually animated renderings of
Debbie Gibson possessed by the spirit of Marcel Marceau.

>And could someone tell me what gaffa means?  (I know it's included in the song
>Suspended in Gaffa but i don't know the exact definition...)

Gaffa is an Australian sandwich spread which is refined under the name
"Vegemite".  It is the essential ingredient in all initiations of
Scottish Rite Masonry, in which Kate took the 33 degree before the
operation.

>Many thanks.

You had only to ask.
-- 
Tim Maroney, Mac Software Consultant, sun!hoptoad!tim, tim@toad.com

"Every year, thousands of new Randoids join the ranks.  Most tend to be either
 too-rich self-made tycoons or picked-on computer nerds (the romantic, heroic
 individualism of Rand's novels flatters the former and fuels the latter's
 revenge fantasies)." -- Bob Mack, SPY, July 1989