THIRD UNCLE

[JDTURN%UMASS.BITNET@wiscvm.wisc.edu (Joe Turner)]

Someone wanted the lyrics to Eno's "Third Uncle"... here they are, courtesy
of the book MORE DARK THAN SHARK, which I cannot reccomend highly enough.
As "The Dreaming" changed Doug's life (incidentally, it seems Doug needs a
new squeeze; the one he's currently with is not giving him the proper satis-
faction that a man of his stature is entitled to), MORE DARK THAN SHARK has
changed mine.  Witness:  Doug hasn't read it, and he's havin' girl trouble;
I'v read it, and am in hormonal bliss.  What icon, other than ``Bob'',
promises you this?

Third Uncle
----- -----
There are tins
There was pork
There are legs
There are sharks
There was John
There are cliffs
There was mother
There's a poker
There was you
Then there was you

There are scenes
There are blues
There are boots
There are shoes
There are Turks
There are fools
They're in lockers
They're in schools
There in you
Then there was you

Burn my fingers
Burn my toes
Burn my Uncle
Burn his books
Burn his shoes
Cook the leather
Put it on me
Does it fit me
Or you?
It looks tight on you.

(found on page 56 of the book, for further reference. Mills' illustrations
 for 'Third Uncle' aren't my favorite in the book -- sad to say, because
 'Third Uncle' and 'The True Wheel' are my fav songs from TAKING TIGER
 MOUNTAIN BY STRATEGY...)


Skinny Puppy  w/Edward Ka-Spel,  Paradise, Boston   5/24

Jon Drukman came by about 6, since the show was at 8, and we figured it
would be a packed show, since SP is a pretty big-name band as bands of that
ilk go.  Hoo boy, were WE wrong!  Got there at 6:30, when the tix were s'posed
to go on sale, and there were maybe 7 or 8 wavos with black hair and caked
makeup there.  Not wanting to hang around a "Souxsie Sue Look-alike" contest,
we retired to the WARMTH of a McDildo's down the street.  Around 8:00pm, when
the show was s'posed to start, the tix went on sale, and we went in surrounded
by the same w's w/b.h. & c'd m...

The Paradise, if you've never been there, is a fucking SHOEBOX.  This is to
say, TINY.  This was an important factor later in the evening.

We spent the better part of an hour and 15 minutes doing the following:
          - Watching the w's with b.h. & c'd m
          - Getting deafened by the HORRIBLE music that was being played
          - Watching the 4 video monitors that were playing top-40 videos
            without any sound
          - Looking for the only sign of intelligence we knew would be there
            (Doug)
          - Being bored
          - Looking bored
          - Looking more bored
          - Looking bored at people looking bored

Well, Edward Ka-Spel came on out aroun 9:15 and proceeded to be really
pretentious.  He had a Roland synth and some backing tapes.  His music
sounded like Philip Glass meets Joy Division on quaaludes after their
respective families have committed group suicides.  He was much too loud,
had an annoying cackle, and had these lines drawn on his face and arms
which I'm sure meant something to him, but not to us.  He was very deep.
Very deepl into the pit of HORRENDOUSLY BAD ARTISTS.  Blecch.  Gave
Jon a headache.  I thought he was funny, and I laughed... but not WITH
him - AT him.

Then, after a break, they showed some SP videos ("dig it", among others).
Eh.  After a little while longer, SP came out.

cEVIN Key was wearing a vey lovely four-peice outfit.  It consisted of
       1. Shirt
       2. Pants
       3. Mud
       4. Blood
He did some very nice things, like pour a syringe of blood on himself and
drink it, show us a (fake?) dead rat, burned a child's doll made up to
look like a fetus, impaled a torso on a big cross with a spike on it and
a reverse swastika nailed to it, pretend to pull out his own intestines,
"sing", and a whole mess of other really meaningful acts.  David Oglvie
was having loads of fun with his drums/synths/guitar/oil cans/chainsaw
etc... he also looked like he was having FUN, something that cEVIN seemed
to be missing.

Good points:  The music, the stage show (even with it's pretentions), and
the fact that being such a small club, all of us in the front row (including
myself, Jon, Doug, and Doug's officemate Paul) got splattered with blood
when the nice fellow in the straight jacket shot cEVIN.

Bad points:  All the w's with b.h. and c'd m (not SP's fault, though), the
stage show (even with it's dramatic moments), and the fact that the rear
projections didn't have any of the really gory stuff that I wanted to see.
Oh yeah, and if cEVIN had smiled once or twice, or introduced the band,
or talked to the audience, or SOMETHING...

Summary:  Go see it, but come late and miss Eddie Ka-Spell... you won't
regret it.  And be sure to be in back of someone BIG unless you're into
getting splattered with blood (which was actually kinda fun until it
started to get sticky)


Personal to Dave "What a Man" Hsu:  when are you coming up yonder to our
parts, anyway?


Personal to IED:  I send my most profuse apologies as to the lateness of
the tapes I promised you.  My lack of responsibility is inexcusable.  Jon
Drukman and I are sending you a joint package today with both of our stuff
in it.

-joe

"and if you see your mother this week, remember to tell her
 SATAN! SATAN! SATAN!!!!"