EGOSLAVIA MY ASS, PSYCODRAMA IS ZZ TOP (Part 3)

[hofmann@nrl-css.arpa (Jim Hofmann)]

Being the final installment in a glorious three part series.  Thanks to
Wicinski for uploading it from a Mac.  Enjoy...

---

SS: So why do they call you Tina?
B:  My lover calls me Tina - but I hate gays
J:  Don't look at me - I ain't his husband.
B:  I beat him up all the time.  Anytime he
  tries to fuck me, I beat him up. He's a fattie.
J:  Anyhow [burp], I guess we got free reign.
  I hate fucking queers.  You know what?
B:  The homosexual is the scourge of this 
  nation.
J: That's right.
B:   - turns all the biker bars into fag bars and
  I can't get any men cuz they're all fags.
J:  I've seen it.
B: - want some men and I can't get men cuz 
  they're all fags.
J:  And I can't get no women cuz all these
 bare-faced, pussy-assed boys come on with
  their daddy's money and take 'em away from
 the only real men left on earth - Big Bubba!
B:  - and Big Christina!
J:  The only real men on this earth.
B:  And this nation!
J:  Right on, bro!

[ lots of bragging and racial slurs are edited out]

J:  That's righteous as hell but we're in this man's 
   house and I noticed you got Anacin 3 in front of
  you so we won't harass you anymore.  We'll 
  interview you now:  Sir, we heard that Flipper 
  were assholes.  What did Flipper do that's worse 
  from what we're doing right now?

SS:  They just wouldn't talk to me cuz I didn't have
  any drugs.
J:  Well, we're not assholes, see - and everyone out 
  there - we ain't assholes, we're real talkative.  Real
  nice guys.  Flipper sucks anyway - hasn't had a 
  good idea in six years.  What do you wanna say 
  about the Chef, Tina?
B:  It's gay.
J:  It ain't gay!  That's the only bar on the East Coast
   'sides the Boothill that ain't gay.
B:  I saw a nigger in there.
J:  I saw a nigger in there, too.  The nigger had to
  go in there to sell "soup" to the bikers.
B:  One nigger makes a bar gay.
J:  I wouldn't give Flipper any "peasoup".  I think
  ZZ Top's lots better than Flipper.
SS:  What about Sonic Youth?
J: [bllllt]  They're better than Flipper - least they got
  a wimmen in the band even though she ain't got no
  tits.  ... She gets mad at us when we told her to 
  grow tits.
B:  She chopped off her tits to get boys.
SS:  I got a picture of her somewheres (from Yet 
  Another Fanzine).
J:  I'm gonna have to shit, man.  Another thing we don't
  say is dude.  We don't ever use that fucking word - dude.
B:  I stabbed a guy who said 'dude'.
J:  Anyone who uses the word lowers his IQ level down
  to that of a nigger.  So listen up, you pussy-whipped 
  faggots; we're so much better than you.  I have to pee.
  [ looks at picture of Kim Sonic Youth] Look at that
  titless Tessie.  What the hell is that - that ain't Velda!
B:  It's not Dolly.  She ain't got no headlights!
J:  ... she doesn't even have an amusement park in 
  Tennesee named after her.  What good is she?  All she 
  soes is pluck a fucking bass she bought down at the
  5 and dime and thinks she's big.  You're a junkie-ass,
  god-damn shriveled up bitch and your faggot ass husband
  ain't much better.
B:  And you're Jewish!  A titless Jew Nigger Lover.  You'll
  never have my 9 inch dick.
J:  Speaking of Jew sluts, I wanna bite your big fat ass, 
  Barbera Rice.  You got a big old butt.  I've been after your
  ass since '81 before I even turned 20, baby.  I'll show 
  you a real  good time -
B:  I tried to grab your ass but you were reading a book 
  during a concert.
J:  We tried to grab her butt and she ran to her Kike husband in
  a fit.
B:  She tries to tell us her husband ain't Jewish.  We know
  he's a Kike.
J:  If you're listening, Barb, come over anytime and we'll
  apologize.
B:  Then we'll pass you around like a whiskey bottle.
J:  At least there's one person round here who will inter-
  view us, Barbera.  And he's big righteous and has a 
  beard!  We don't all have to look like Mark E. Smith,
  Barbera.

[ guess I'm off Truly Needy's mailing list now for sure ] 

J:  We're just kidding.  We like niggers, really.  We like
  'em so much we'll risk AIDS to fuck one of them.
SS:  Did you guys go to Forsyth County? [ site of recent
  anti-racist and anti-anti-racist demonstrations in Georgia]
B:  Yeah.
J:  We threw the mud.
B:  That was real fun.  We went down there and then come 
  up to Raleigh the next day.  And went into a march there.
  So, we made it a big Aryan weekend.  We can't play so -
J:   We gotta do something - can't sit around and be idle.
  We'd be niggers.  Can't sit 'round a corner kicking dirt.

SS:  So the first phase of PSYCODRAMA was over in 81?
B:  Somewheres round there.
SS:  And you actually had instruments at that time?
B:  Yeah, and I still use the music from back then on tapes -
  though I sometimes speed it up or change it arund.  I 
  steal from South Bronx, too.  Um, then around '81 people
  started dropping out.  And we got drunker.
J:  And more 'Peasoupy'-
B:  When we used instruments, I'd go out and put bottles
  up my ass.
J:  So he'd do all the bad stuff -
B:  And then, I decided who needs them?  I can do all this
  stuff with all the instruments on tape.  And sing on top of
  the tape and so they left.  On to do nothing.  One person  
  who was really into it is in Baltimore going to the Maryland
  Institute of Art.
SS:  David Byrne's old school?
B:  Yeah - that says it all.

SS:  You gonna be on Mykel Board's new Hunger compilation?
B:   Yep, we sent him one called, "Go Starve in Africa,
  Niggers"  which is my latest song.  I used South Bronx
  niggers and this Baptist Choir I recorded down in South
  Carolina.  I mixed then in, straight, on top of the South
  Bronx niggers doing rap with their beat.
SS:  You didn't manipulate it?
B:  Nah.  I'm getting away from that.
SS:  You go to a four-track?
B: (snorts):  I have these two five dollar tape decks and
  Jim's tape deck.
SS:  What does Jim do?
B:  He preaches.  He has a sermon and then I have a 
  chord organ which gives it all a tonal sound.
SS:  Will you ever do a record by yourself?
B:  Never.  Ever in our whole lives.
J:  We tried to do a record once. And the guy said the 
  stuff was "unacceptable."
B:  Any time anyone wants to do a record or they wanna 
  press it, we get the same excuse when the receive the
  final product.
J:  He didn't like the sleeve art or the material.
B:  I know.  There have been several people that wanted
  to put out a PSYCODRAMA record.  Then we send them
  the stuff and we put a picture of a nigger being crucified
  by bikers or something.
J:  And they say it's unacceptable.  Like my 2nd grade
  teacher or like my parents.
B:  So we say, Fuck off.  It will always be tapes.  I trade
  massively by mail.  I get all the addresses in Sound 
  Choice and Unsound.  I mass-produce our music and
  send it off.  I get incredible music that way and that's
  all that matters.
SS:  I  only get these little punk rockers sending me 
  tapes and asking for a free add
B:  We never get any punk!
J:  No punk comes in.  We get stuff from Europe, Japan -
SS:  Those Japs are fucking crazy.
B:  I know.
J:  The best stuff is all coming from the Orient.
SS:  Even their hardcore doesn't suck -
B:  Shit, even their new wave is good.
J:  We got on one compilation over there - "Desperately
  Seeking Suicide"
B:  I'd rather get on compilations (than put out record).
  There's a hundred people all around the world doing 
  compilations all the time.

[ start asking them about the Sonic Youth/Complex
  incident again]
B:  The reason we yelled at Sonic Youth 'bout that girl
  not having any tits cuz of a nigger.  Cuz Gordon Organ,
  fag shit face - 
J:  - was too much of a  pussy to get us in the show.
B:  Too much of  a pussy to do anything with us.  He 
  had a nigger at the Complex.
J:  Big nigger!
B:  and we brought a bottle of whiskey into the Complex.
J:  Little bottle.  itty-bitty bottle.
B:  And I was in the courtyard drinking that bottle
  of whiskey.
J:  And all these other niggers were smoking Loveboat-
B:  And not giving any to us cuz we looked like ZZ.
  And I was drinking a bottle of whiskey 
J:  PERfectly legal.
B:  And this smelly, big nigger comes up and says-
J: [lapses in patois] "Youse gonna haveta dump out that
  whiskey or youse is gonna haveta go cuz we cain't
  have it flyin' round here at de Complex".
B:  So I dumped out the whiskey just to stay there and yell
  about Sonic Youth's tits.
J: "Oh an by de way.  De nights befo' we had j'st cleaned
  up de whole god-damn place (complex) wid sum nigguh
  from H.R's band and one of de Pussy Galore boys and
  one of dem Peach of Immortality people who I don'ts 
  know and we went dere dat night and cleaned up de whole
  place -"
B:  In order to get a ticket to Sonic Youth.
J: "- in orders to gets a ticket fo' nothing  and den we went
  in dere."
SS:  I thought Sonic Youth put you on their guest list.
J:  "No suh, we cleaned up de place like nigguhs... we had
  to gets de mops to clean de flo' and when we's done cleanin'
  de flo', we hads to picks up de pieces of paper de punk 
   rockers laid down and we hads to tear down dem stoopid
  Goverment Issue John Stab faggot flyers...and when we 
  done cleaned up de place de Massa' Organ gone up an' pat
  us on de head and say, "You boys is wisin' up. Maybe 
  dere's some hope for you yet" and we said dats good and
  de Organ say, "you finally gettin' in society" - just like
  Abe'ham Lincoln, dat Organ is.  And den two weeks latuh
  we ain't in dere but 15 minutes and some big nigguh comes
  up to us and sex, "maaaan, you gotta pour dat out."  And I
  say,  well heh blod, dere be modderfuckin' nigguhs smokin'
  loveboat and sniffin' cocaine... and dey go crazy and run dere
  cars into de fence.  And dem skinhead boys be fightin' over 
  dere's religous beliefs - all de baldies 'gainst de other baldies
  beating up each others and still de mang'ment of de club put
  all de agreesion on dese rednecks sittin' round drinkin' 
  whiskey an' readin' de racing form.  They's too pussified to 
  fuck with de nigguhs and de skinheads"
B:  That's why we don't go to stupid clubs anymore.
J:"Dat's why we don't go to yo' damn heavy metal conce'ts,
  Organ, cuz if I wannts to see de heavy metal, I justs goes 
  to de K-mart and gets me a Judas Priest reccid.  And get it
  done by peoples what's no howze to do it  and take it to my
  13 year old niece and play it on her little stereo and maybe's
  if we's lucky she puts out for us.".. Anyway, Organ and 
  Jared, you a BIG PUSSY.
SS:  Jared?
B:  He's a faggot.
J:  "He's dat guy wit a  hairdo wig on who tink dat he real bad
  cuz he sits down at de do' on E street on won't let bearded
  people into de shows."
SS:  Okay well, um, what our your influences?
J:  Goddamn, Ozark Mountain Daredevils, Catfish Hodge Band,
  Little Feat, The Roadducks, Genuine Virginia Band. We don't
 like that SPK... that dang ol' Genisis P. Orridge is a fag with
  a ponytail (later  they told me about when they went to see
  PSYCHIC TV and Danceteria wouldn't let them in cuz they
  had no dates.  This apparently started the thing against 
  Danceteria).
B:  I likes Alphaville, A-Ha.  Genesis P. Orridge is a faggot.
J:  We don't  like punk rock.   We don't like industrial.  We
  like Hank and ZZ and Dolly cuz you don't see no niggers
  playing in their bands.  (points at poster)  We like Poison
  Idea cuz of (Tom) Pig.  If they ever come to town, we're 
  gonna steal Pig.
B:  Hey, if there's anything going on Baltimore, let us know.
SS:  The Mentors -
J:  Yeah, I feel me and Il Duce are soul-mates.  We wanna talk
  to them anyway cuz there was this lady from Screw magazine
  that came down and took pictures for some article we were
  gonna be in with the Mentors.  We never saw the article and
  we wanted to ask them if we ever got in.
SS:  Well, he'd be the person to ask.
SS:  You gonna go see Hank and Ian doing poetry?
B:  Ask us another question.
J:  Henry always impressed me as someone who was like 
  a bull being led around by the ring on his nose.  I saw him
  over at Yesterday And Today and he was a geek.
SS:  He's real self-concious about his weight.  Call him fat
  and you'll ruin his day.
B:  So he's a Spa-Lady, huh?
SS:  I guess so.  Wanna head on down to the block and
  see some titty?
B:  Fuck yeah.
J:  Titty bars!  That's what we came down here for.