EGOSLAVIA, MY ASS: PSYCODRAMA IS ZZ TOP

[hofmann@nrl-css.arpa (Jim Hofmann)]

"The Burgeoning DC Aryan Biker Rock Scene"

Part One 
--------

PSYCODRAMA: Pioneering goofballs from DC who know
more about music than this whole stupid list put
together.  Not heard of even on "independent" 
labels as they won't tone down their extremely 
offensive message.  You decide whether they mean
it or living their lives as an art-form.  They don't
care.  Contact address: 4822 Walney RD, Chantilly,
VA 22021.  They're into trading and Christina is
real interested putting together something for 
Taylor's Bush compilation as he calls Kate one of
his influences.  Next to Henrietta Hippo.

{PSYCODRAMA is Brett aka Christina aka Tyrone and
	Jim aka Bubba aka Sparky.  SS is me.}


Brett(B): ... doubt it, man.
SS:  Would you open for GG Allin?
B: Oh yeah - that's what I called him about.
SS: ... cuz he says he doesn't open for anybody, so..
Rev Jim (J): It wouldn't make any difference anyway cuz we'd
 be in his set fucking up his set anyway and he'd be
 showin' us up so there ya go.  I'm not gonna drive
 all the way down there (DC) for no reason.  I never
 leave my house for anything.

SS: You're in Woodbridge?  That's a haul...
Jim: I'm in Annendale.
B: Three hours 'fore I could get him out of this
 bar just to come here tonight.  Three hours.
Jim: Bob (Brett's "husband") says I'm going to die
 in the Chef (famous Va. biker bar).

B:  I called Gordon (DC PERIOD publisher and former
 Complex promoter) and said GG wants to play with us
 in DC & you have the Complex.  And Gordon went, I 
 guess he went shrug off.
Jim: He went "ewwwwww..."
Br: Yah.  He got all scared.
J: 1st thing he goes, "you're not going to shit, are 
 you?  Yore not going to have no dead aniumals, are
 you?  I'm not going to have to clean up any shit;
 you're not going to say anything about kikes or 
 niggers, are you?"  Nooo... not me!  No kikes!
 No Niggers! No vomit!
SS:  Would you have then?
Br: Of course.
Jim: We'd do anything.
Br: Whenever you see a jew like Gordon you always
 lie to a jew.
SS: I thought he was Italian.
Br: I don't care - he's a jew ... with a name like
 Organ [ laughter ]
SS: He don't like that, man, calling him "Organ".
Jim: You mean other people actually call him that?
 We thought that was simply ours...
SS: Someone told me they call him that, I forget
 who.
J: Tony!
SS: Yeah.
J: He got it from us. You know Tony? Tony the duck!

[ banter about Tony the Tatoo artist]

BR: WE started calling Gordon "Organ" when he -
J: That pisses him off, huh?  Tell him it came from
 us.
BR: We used to go to these bars in Virginia and we saw
 him come by one day.  And he put these peanuts in the 
 bar.
J: I saw it!
B: He was like the peanut deliveryman.
J: We were over at Orndoffs all the time.
B: - and right after he started delivering peanuts -
J:  - all the heterosexuals started leaving.  All of them!
 They painted the place pink next week...
B: Yep, no more bikers.
J: I know that motherfucker anywhere - that was him!
SS: Maybe he put AIDS in the peanuts.
J: He put something in those peanuts and the whole
 700 hundred year history of that town changed drastically
 overnight after Organ delivered peanuts there.
B: Yes it was - that's when we started calling him Organ.
SS: He printed that affidavit you got tho'...
B: Yeah, that would be pretty stupid if he didn't.
J: He won't put the name of our tape in there, though.  
 He'll just say the new PSYCODRAMA tape - he won't
 say the name of it.
B: Yeah, cuz we called it "Hebe Fag".
J: He wouldn't print a few letter two one syllable
 words.  They're real D.C. jerks.  I work at the Northern
 Virginia Training Cetner (retarded school) and I can
 teach guys with a five minute memory how to say those
 two words.  I can get them to spell it, too.
B: But Organ can't spell it or say it!
J: I said, Organ, you can even put a disclaimer above
 it saying you don't agree with it but you should at
 least put it down cuz people will write for a PSYCODRAMA
 tape and we'll just send them some shit we find around
 the house.  I we're too drunk, we won't even send them
 a PSYCODRAMA tape.  THey'll just get a tape full of
 Henrietta Hippo [ star of New ZOo Revue] or ZZ Top
 or - 
B: Bosephus!

[ talk about Sly Garbage and The Cryptones ]

SS: You know John Labovitz of Sly Garbage and the
 CRYPTONES? - he told me he's trading with you. He
 might be coming by.
J:  Ooooohhhh...
B: Lipshitz!  John Lipshitz!  It's funny, he asked
 me for a tape with a name like that and I sent him 
 "Eve of Jew".
J: Our new tape is called "Nigger" on one side and
 "Goof" on the other side.
B: Yeah, but it's not done yet.
J: Won't be done till probably this summer.
B: I think I sent him a bunch of anti-Jewish Klan
 things.
J: That's all we've been doing for the last six 
 months is going to Klan meetings and Aryan Nation
 meetings.
B: Yeah, we never get to play so..
J: WE're actually on a first name basis w/alot of
 higher ups...
SS: What -  do you tape them and use them in tapes?
J: No, we go down there and try to get them away from 
 their wives and drink corn whiskey with us.
B: I tried to tape 'em but they don't allow tape
 recorders near the speakers.
SS: What do they say?  I mean "Kill the Jews" or what?
J: Yeah, that's the good ones.  You have alot of
 dick heads from the nationalist movement from DC that
 look like they came out of Georgetown. I had to stand
 at attention two weeks ago in Raleigh with a five 
 hundred pound Southern flag in my hand with this
 guy from DC in an overcoat talking to me.
B: Ye-ah...
J: It was hard to manage. Everyone else there was good
 though.  We're big into that.  We got to all the Klan
 things, all the white patriot things, Aryan nations...
SS:  That's really big now, man.
B: I know - it'll be real fun in the summer.
J: We're not allowed in anything downtown music-wise
SS:  Might as well protest? or?  It's gonna be summer
 of blood...
B: I hope so.  Nigger blood.
J: No shit.  Kike and Pakistani bloood...
B: And we'll be the ones causing it.
SS: Why Pakistanis?
J: There's a whole bunch of Pakkies out at GMU where 
 I get all my dope and I have to go through all of these
 motherfuckers to get there.

[Brent pulls out a newspaper photo of a Sons of Dixie 
march protesting Martin Luther King day]
J:  There's us right there -
B:  That's our publicity photo.
SS:  Did you dress up in fatigues and shit?
B: Oh yeah.
J: We're both actual supporters that are registered
 with them in the White Patriot Party - we're friends
 with alot of them - we just don't tell them who we
 really are.

SS:  If you had come here and I would have been black -
  what would you have done?
J:  Said Hi.
B:  I don't know - I would have asked you if you had 
 any funk music.
SS:  I got some Sly and RUN-DMP...
J: If you had been black -
B:  We would have asked you if you had black music then
 we would have lynched you.
J:  That's one thing I asked Brett, what if he's a 
 nigger?
B: Yep...
SS: [ looking at magizine] you guys made UNSOUND?
B: Yeah, I'm the publisher [ pulls out a blackface
 doll with a lynch around his neck ]
J: Look at this; this is my son.  C'mere boy - I'm
 gonna make a man out of you.  Look at this son of
 a bitch.  He's a typical fucking nigger with his 
 eyes bulging out and his hair standing on end and
 a noose around his neck smiling his way through it.
 I hate that motherfucker, Tina [Brett], why did you
 have to bring him?  He made me nervous in Raleigh.

SS:  Do alot of art people try and suck up to you 
 that don't know you?
J: Yeah, tell him about Atlanta.  Tell him about the
 biggest disapointment of any four human being on the
 face of this earth in Atlanta.
B: Shitttt....
SS: Who?
B: MEDICINE SUITE! (see letters section in Conflict 43)
J: Nah, Ben & Meg still like us.  It was just the
 sensitive ones that were upset ...
B: Yeah, the fag art people.
J: They were expecting mega-trenchcoats, hait, moody
 eyes, y'know, someone to shoot with, mad as hell at
 everything, white faces.  What we did is we pitched
 a tent out in the woods.  It was a wooded area.  We
 didn't even want to sit out with the Mohawks.  We just
 went and pitched a tent and got drunk.  We were 
 waiting for this particular band, MEDICINE SUITE, who 
 had written us and said how great we are and allthis.
 Plus all the girls run around naked and shit.
B: Yeah...
J: So we go, OK, We'll go see 'em and so we're sitting 
 thar in the camp in the middle of the woods.  They
 come up - they have some big rock and roll asshole with
 a big mega-mixing board... and just as they were getting
 good the asshole behind  the control board turns up
 Black Flag over their own show and they live there and
 these assholes with the mixers were the guests and
 they blotted them out.  We started going, "Hey man,
 what the hell you doing?..."
B: I had my MOTHERFUCKER MC colors on.
J: Yeah, we started wearing them when some fucking punk
 rock kid called us ZZ Top and shit.
B: Yeah.
J: Cuz at the time I had a beard like him and shit and
 they called us ZZ Top and Grits and Readnecks.  Anyway,
 we sat there and said, "well, he just fucked up and
 didn't mean it." And they (MEDICINE SUITE) were good -
 we wanted to hear them.  The GBH/VENOM cover fuck ass
 homosexual bands were there so we just came charging out
 of the woods screamin', "No man, turn it off!!"  And they
 thought we were bikers cuz we're fat and have tatoos, all
 that shit, so it just erupted into a big thing and we
 ended up going back there getting high with MEDICINE 
 SUITE and we didn't even go on [ story of their lives ]
B: We never do...
J:  When's the last time we played?  It was Febuary in
 a barn...
SS: Febuary?
J:  Last year (1986) - cuz everyone's too pussy whipped to
 put on a show cuz of a coupla little itty-bitty 
 discrepencies.  ... you could iron out of you had a mind
 at all.
B:  We tried before DRI - West Virginia.
J:  We did DRI - that was the worst show we ever did in our
 lives in some gay joint in Martinsburg.
SS: Isn't DRI gay?  
B:  They sure acted like it.  But some roadie was pissed off
 cuz of something about gays that we said.
B:  They're gay sympathizers.  Their raodie was gonna
 beat me up [ laughs - you see Brett is gay ]
J:  A buncha bouncers wouldn't let me back cuz I automat-
 ically - what's the first thing I do?  What's the first
 thing I throw?
SS: Shit?
J:  A chair - some chair went up in the air.  Bubba threw
 a chair.
B:  They cut us off just as I got on there and said, "I
 hate homos"
J:  - let me tell you something - all you chemotherapy
 patients out there.  Lord don't like no jews.  Lord don't
 like no niggers. Lord don't like no Iranians.  Lord don't
 like no Ethiopians...
SS:  Lord?
J:  It's the Lord Yahweh. 
B: Yahweh's the Lord of the White People.
J:  Some nigger guy in Raleigh said Yahweh is Lord of the
 black people.  It's like they're all confused - they don't
 know what they're talking about.
B: They're all confused.
J:  Hey, I loved that big tough, Klan guy we stated with who
 his wife wouldn't let him drink in front of her.  Here's this
 guy who's going to overthrow the Zionist Occupational
 Goverment (ZOG) - and he can't drink a beer in front of
 his fucking wife.
SS: Christian or something?
J: Big-time Christians.

SS:  Did you hear what Gibby Butthole said about you?
B: No.  Who's that?
SS:  Butthole Surfers guy.  He thought it was really great you
 cleared out the club by sticking a finger up your asshole
 and waving it at people...
J:  We've had abut 10 chances to meet him but we got in
 big fights - we tried to meet him with Mykel Board but we
 ended up going to the hospital and jail.
BR: What was right before their show cuz we did a show in
 a little art club and the Buttholes were playing that
 night and Mykel Board went and we cleared out the room
 by FiFi's Butt - who squirted out diarreha.
J:  He was one D's, coke, all kinds of shit.
B: And threatened to wipe it in people's faces...
J: Plus we were throwing "hard" objects at them -
B: Like squirrels.
J:  I chased  Mykel Board down the Bowery with a
 dead squirrel.
B:  We went hunting.
J:  We almost got busted in Rahway, NJ for having
 a dead cat.
SS:  Rahway, man.  Yeah, that place sucks -
J:  The pigs were real nice to us.  Cuz we
 were nice to them - what happened was, there was
 a little loft where we played with a bunch of
 shitty heavy metal bands.
B:  It died after we played there.
J:  Like everything else.  It was this little 
 Loft and there was a cat running around there 
 and we  coincidentally had a dead cat that 
 looked like it - and we took the cat out - I 
 took the cat out, I'm the cat man.  I took 
 the cat out and pummeled it all over the stage 
 and we were heaving guts and everything 
 and they thought we had killed that cat that 
 was there. And they called the pigs and the pigs 
 were like, "We got better things to do" and I 
 was the perfect GQ man  to the cops.  That was 
 back in the "Green" days - that's the big 
 redneck drug down south, PCP - Pot y'know - 
 it's not that Loveboat.

[ bathroom break  during which "Sparky" commanders
the tape recorder and screams shit into it] 

J:  We get our Green at Monte's house.  That comes
 from Monte and Bear and Mule.  All those people punk
 rockers are scared of,.
B: Yeah, we don't go to Choclate City for our drugs.
J: We go out to The Braddock!
B:  I don't do no music without Green and a Harley.
J:  I haven't worked for ten years and Tina's
 boyfriend says I'm gonnna die with my face in 
 a beer at the New Orlean's Chef where Mule 
 and Greg Painter -
SS:  Who's Greg Painter?
B:  He's this queer with big tits.  He stuffs his
 tits with Green and then when you wanna buy it he
 goes, "sure honey" and pulls out his tit.
J:  Green's a good thing.  All these faggots down in
 DC don't like it.  We ain't from thar.  Where we
 from?  We're from Haymart.  We don't give a fuck about
 no Ian Mackaye and chemotherapy patients and
 homosexuals and all.
SS:  It's Ian MacKye!
B:  Ian MacFag -
J:  So sorry!  Ian MacKye...
B: He's that nigger gay!  He was stroking out in front 
 of his house.
SS:  I saw this zine called "Raped Ass" and this guy
 cut up a fag zine with some guy holding his big 
 dick and captioned it "Dischordian Disciple".
B:  Everyone knows they're gay.
J:  Well, you heard it from a local!  That's
 from a guy outside the Southern States Church... 
 This is from a guy that knows his shit - So 
 hang it up,  Ian - you're a fucking queer. Your 
 record store sucks. Your overpriced.  You don't 
 carry shit or know what  I'm talking about
 when I walk in there.
SS:  They don't carry Skrewdriver!
J:  Yeah, you don't got a Skrewdriver section mother
 fucker.  There's all this German skinhead shit 
 I can't get cuz of Ian.  The first time I walked 
 into "Lost  and Found" records and tapes I was 
 greeted at the door by some motherfucking troll.  
 A god-damn, cock sucking troll.  And I walked 
 in there and the first thing I heard was this: 
 "Now, I don't like Pussy Galore.  They do that 
 song `You look like a Jew.' I mean they could 
 do `You look like a nigger' I don't like 
 that record."
SS:  Pussy's great -
J:  They say anything about us cuz I don't 
 know these people.  I'm too busy being in 
 the Chef.
SS:  I try and stay away from 'em -
[laughter]
J:  We try and stay away from everything so you're
 talking to the right people.
SS:  They don't like your shit cuz it's too 
 offensive for their two brain cells but 
 they won't admit it, so they say "it's already 
 been done"  What the fuck? Everything's 
 already been done.

[talk about facial hair]
J:  Tell 'em my whole life
SS:  Alright!  Life stories!
B:  He grows a beard for the Klan.  Then shaves it off for
 a girl at college cuz she's a punk-art girl.
J:  Can't get any old waitress, like I want -

NEXT:  The Danceteria Incident/ The State Of The Klan 
       and responses to critics.