Re: Buttholes and Record Contracts

[Knight of the Iguana <wicinski@nrl-css.ARPA>]

Well You know what Mr. Mayhem and Confusion in Maryland, I 
have a story that will give you an answer to your question.
When I worked with the awesome teen-pop combo, those Screaming
Igunas in Love,  the main maniac (know as Dr. Obvious) decided we needed
some more exposure, so a few of our songs were sent to the newspaper in
orlando, as well as a florida music magazine (city-paper-ish, but not as
trendy, more rock and roll drivvel), and actually someone called him and
wanted to come down and talk to us.  The dr. was very excited, he was
gathering blenders at a furious rate and preparing for an interview
that would blow his mind more than any amount of LSD could do.  When the
dude showed up (he reminds me of a JD considine look-alike), we talked
for awhile, then he said he couldn't write the article about us because
"Our band name was not suitable for a family publication and if we
had a better name we would be more popular".  When we said
why, he could not elaborate.  HOWEVER, he said he could write the
article for the muswank magazine, but "we would have to pay him to
convince the editor it was worthwhile." At this point another member,
Lt. Cryptic left to go get 'more beer'. Instead he dumped a good dose
of sugar down the dude's gas tank.  We told the to fuck off, he split,
got 5 miles down the road when his car fucked stop operating.
He ended up hitchiking the 50 or 60 miles back to Orlando. 

We were also refused studio time because the studio owner 'didnt like our name'.

>"But they'd be good if they didn't have such a bad name!"  "How
>so?" I reply.  "Well, they'd get a big record contract".  

My question to those people is "Why does the name decide whether a band
is good or not ???"  Then I would kick them out the back door, as long
as you had a lean, german sheperd to clean them up. Those people
are a dime a dozen.