Re: A FAN'S disappointment .. LONG response

["Homeground Towers" <user@avalon.softnet.co.uk>]

Hello friends,

I saw this in gaffa:

odysseus@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca wrote in article
<5h6chg$ha0$1@news.sas.ab.ca>...
> Just writing to express how I've felt about Kate Bush, probably my
> favorite artist.  I'm disappointed and have felt that she really doesn't
> have anymore interest in making any more albums.  She's left her loyal
> fans hanging in the dark.  I'm wondering if anyone has felt this way as
> well.  Kate Bush fans have really been superlative to her, which other
> artist has such a devoted cult following?  Kate's really let us down.
> 
> truly, suspended in Gaffa
> 

I'll break the habit of a lifetime.

This article by Krys appeared in the last HOMEGROUND:

REMEMBER YOURSELF

[Starts with a letter we recieved:]

"This past Sunday, after eighteen years of being a long-suffering Kate Bush
fan and waiting in vain for a world tour that will probably never happen,
I've done something that I never thought I'd do: I've taken all of Kate's
tapes, CDs, videos, poster books, buttons and t-shirts, put them in a large
plastic bag and threw them in the garbage.

I won't be renewing my subscription as, like Su Goulding, I've lost the
faith. I've come to the conclusion that Kate Bush and her music have
nothing to do with me as a fan or as a woman. Lately, I haven't been
listening to The Red Shoes or any of her past albums because Kate
represents the way things used to be, when I thought she had musical
potential. I find Kate's music too painful to listen to. In all my eighteen
years of fanship with Kate, I think The Line, The Cross and The Curve was
the last straw. I feel personally betrayed and insulted that Kate had sold
out of her principles just to make a buck. I felt that The Line was a total
waste of time and money as far as Kate using it as a substitute for a tour.
Another thing that I have a serious problem with is that Kate records and
releases deeply personal songs like Moments of Pleasure and You're The One,
but she never talks about these songs in the few interviews she does give.
It seems to me that after eighteen years in the business, Kate Bush has a
serious attitude problem and isn't doing anything about it. No wonder her
fanship is deteriorating rapidly and 90% of her fans are flocking to Tori
Amos.

I'm beginning to side with an increasing number of people who now feel that
Kate Bush doesn't care about her fans. My biggest disappointment is her too
short convention appearance and her perfunctory appearance on Top Of The
Pops. I also feel that the Fruitopia commercials in the US were a way of
Kate selling her principles to revive her flagging career. It seems to me
that Kate Bush had peaked too fast and became a star too late. Like a great
many people, I've grown impatient with Kate not making personal appearances
in the US. I feel that I could no longer share in Kate's point of view.
What is the point of defending an artist's work if she doesn't even care?
I'm not going to stand idly by and watch a brilliant artist like Kate drown
in her own self-pity. I feel disgusted, disappointed and disillusioned, so
I'm out of here. Kate Bush has been everybody else's girl, maybe one day
she'll be her own."                                                  

[This is Krys' response:]

Inspired by the disillusionment of some fans, as seen in the letter above,
this is an attempt to take a view of fandom from where Peter and I stand
here at HG.

THE BACKGROUND

There was a lot of good, original music around in the post Punk late 70s, a
welcome antidote to the dreariness of the early part of the decade. Kate
was a major contributor to this, her face and image was everywhere you
looked. At that time there didn't seem to be socially (and politically) the
kind of negativity and problems that are increasingly obvious today.
Thatcher was yet to be voted in as Prime Minister. Those days, were to my
memory a more positive time and place to be generally. I look back with
affection and a sense of sweet nostalgia. 

Back in 1978-79, Kate seemed to exude a happy, positive vibe. It came
through her music to a large extent, and she seemed to be thoroughly
enjoying making that music. In the beginning it must have been exciting and
fresh for Kate, she had achieved what must have once only ever been a dream
- she had made an album. There was an innocence and trust about her,  and a
great energy, that came through the tracks on The Kick Inside. Many of us
grew up with those first three or four albums as the soundtrack to our
young lives. And Kate grew too. Each album could be seen as a kind of
diary, a record of change and development,  musically, emotionally and
personally - a record of change in our own lives as well as Kate's.  

This was to be her chosen career, and the success of that first album was
to be much more than she (or EMI) had envisaged - or been prepared for.
Initially Kate fulfilled her ambition to make an album, but with its
enormous success, the pressure must have been put on her from various
sources to make another to follow as soon as possible, and more after that.
She felt that Lionheart was rushed. The Tour of Life took up most of 1979,
and took a lot out of Kate. The first "gap" arrived and two years later
Never For Ever was released. Inside the sleeve was the powerful image of
the bleeding rose, to me a reminder of how much blood, toil and tears went
into making that album.  After another two year gap,  The Dreaming was
released, one of her strongest albums ever. The songs were more painful,
there was a sense of something lost, yet a strength and maturity as Kate
emerged as an adult woman, with a musicianship that surpassed her previous
works. The British critics slammed and scorned The Dreaming mercilessly,
though the Americans loved it - it made a remarkable impression over there.
But here, the harsh criticisms and the label "weird" must have hurt Kate
terribly, and may have encouraged  her to retreat further from the public
eye - an eye that will not let her shake off the Wuthering Heights image.
 
A three year gap and Hounds of Love was born, a far more commercial (the
A-side at least) album, where Kate had reached a compromise between writing
commercial hits and doing what she really wanted in the form of The Ninth
Wave concept, her most ambitious creation ever. She went along with the
promotional side of things, though she has never enjoyed this part of the
process, and still doesn't. She travelled to the US and  Europe, and gave
countless TV and radio appearances and interviews. We have seen some
corkers from US television! One stands out in my mind - we have the
complete filmed session of a horrendous, long-winded interview with some
American chat show host; virtually no research had been done and Kate's
facial expression is one of utter bemusement. You can almost see her
thoughts forming in her head; this woman was obviously driving her mad. She
asked yet another ludicrous question and Kate's tongue slipped in reply:
"Well, that particular prat." What she meant was "that particular track". I
think Kate's original answer was more sincere, and very funny. The screened
version was heavily edited. You can see how Kate must have got fed up of
giving mindlessly boring interviews to people who weren't really interested
in her music.

The Sensual World came four years later, and for me was the first album to
have weak tracks, and seemed to send out a message of not having all her
heart in it. The majority were great tracks, but not all worked. Kate did
the usual interviews for the music press, but for the first time personal
appearances were not on the agenda. Up to this point in her career,  in
terms of the promotional side of things, Kate had given the fans and EMI
what they wanted - appearances, radio and television interviews, and record
signings on a worldwide basis. In cynical terms it helped sell more
records, not that she really needed help. But promotion may have seemed to
Kate to be superfluous, that she was somehow prostituting herself to sell
her work, when she thought it should and could speak for itself. She
probably began to feel like she was a commodity for the public and the
record company.  By Kate not doing promotion, it could be perceived that
she was shooting herself through the foot, that she wasn't helping herself
or her work. With The Sensual World Kate clearly did not want to do
personal promotion any longer and considered her work to be finished once
the master tapes were handed over to EMI. Since Hounds of Love Kate hasn't
played this record industry game, and in those terms she must be a company
executive's nightmare. She has for most part had hold of the reigns, and
final decisions on albums and singles have always been down to her. Many
fans have wrongly blamed EMI for not doing this or that, when in fact the
choice has been Kate's. She doesn't get pushed around; her side of the
bargain is to fulfil her contract for X number of albums. 

The following year, 1990, saw the release of the This Woman's Work
collection. Its funereal black box seemed as though Kate was saying some
kind of farewell, wrapping up and laying to rest what she had done to that
point. There was a finality about it. This didn't please all the fans,
especially the CD format which was retailing at a figure higher than the
cost of mid and full price CDs when bought without the box. It is
interesting that at this time Kate changed the KT symbol from that of the
Knights Templars, to the sign of Chiron, the wounded healer. 

The November of that year saw Kate's wonderful appearance at the 1990
Convention. She was happy and cheerful. The atmosphere was comfortable,
even cosy despite a gathering of more than 1200 people. She clearly enjoyed
herself and was in good spirits. Her little thank you song at the end was
really special as those who were there will remember.  To us this
convention was a great success and we all thoroughly enjoyed it. The
preparation and organisation had been fun. That day was the highlight of a
particularly hard year for us personally.

On Valentines Day 1992, Kate's dear Mum, Hannah, died. 
This was a great loss to all who knew her. I can't imagine how Kate and her
family coped. Hannah had always been a great support to Kate in her career,
and gave her encouragement to go out and do things, and she was vital where
fans were concerned. Those of us who visited the Farm were made very
welcome by Hannah and Dr Bush. Hannah always spoke kindly and fondly about
Kate's fans, she was interested in all our lives and what we were doing.
She was the Kate world's Mother figure and she genuinely cared about
everyone. 

On a personal level, Hannah and Dr. Bush have both been very supportive to
Peter and me, particularly in our ten year (so far) struggle to have a
baby. I remember the July of 1987, as we were leaving the Farm, Hannah put
her arm around my waist and said "There's no sign of that baby yet, Krys?"
She knew though we hadn't told anyone we were trying. She gave me a big hug
and held my hand, and there was a look in her eyes that pierced my soul.
She just knew things. I have so many memories of Hannah and luckily at that
time I kept a diary meticulously, and all those visits to the Farm are in
there. In HG's early days, Hannah was so encouraging and told us many times
over the years she thought we were doing "a great job" with the magazine.
We continue to visit Dr. Bush and I still feel her there. I see the empty
chair where she used  to sit, but somehow its not really empty. To me the
Farm was Hannah, and I think it still is. I don't know if she ever knew how
much we loved her. I miss her terribly. We all do.   

Moments of Pleasure was a brave statement for Kate to make. The most moving
part in the song being the words about her Mum. Kate had experienced the
deaths of a number of her friends and loved ones, and Moments was a good,
positive way to pay them tribute, turning sorrow into a celebration of love
and the good times that were had, and probably helped to heal her own
grief.    

The Red Shoes was released in 1993, 18 months after Hannah died, and Kate's
great sadness and loss was there for everyone to see. I feel the loss of
Hannah coloured The Red Shoes more than anything. Some fans simply couldn't
deal with Kate being so open about such personal experiences - some people
can't cope with emotional matters, and found it uncomfortable being
confronted up close with such personal things; some thought she was
wallowing in her emotions. Others simply lost interest at that point and
drifted away. Kate lost a number of fans with this album. 

The Red Shoes is for many the hardest to listen to, because of the emotion
in there and because it shattered some people's illusions about Kate; she
too could be raw. Maybe it felt that the crutch had been kicked away, and
she could not be leaned on. Nor did she have the answers or strength seen
earlier, though her quest for both is there.  There were only three light
tracks, the rest bleak, tormented, unhappy. And So Is Love and You're The
One spoke loudest. The older we grow, the more experiences we go through.
We have to face problems and challenges; relationships can change, and
often we have to face the deaths of loved ones. Some people go to pieces
and can't cope, others get hard and cynical, most get through as best as
they can. Perhaps for some fans there was no reassurance or comfort to be
found, perhaps Kate appeared too weak and vulnerable, not the strong woman
seen in her earlier work. There was fear and self-doubt too in the form of
Big Stripey Lie which to me heavily suggested psychic attack (I believe
there is such a thing). Lily was very telling and honest. Was she leaving
clues? It's a wonder no-one began a witch hunt.

The Red Shoes was probably a turning point in Kate's career; the struggle
of its creation comes through, and the strain and exhaustion can be seen in
those Q photos that appeared alongside the interview that coincided with
the album's release. Again Kate did not promote her album, other than a few
personal signing sessions that took place in Tower records in America.

The Line, The Cross and The Curve, was finished to meet the deadline of the
1994 London Film Festival, and was a matter of much discussion between the
fans - some loved it, others loathed it - as the letters pages over several
issues of HG bore. It retrospect it may not have been the best thing for
Kate to have embarked on at that time, she may have been better waiting a
few years, or even having done it earlier as she had originally planned for
The Ninth Wave. I once thought she would venture further into film-making,
but it looks as though she had enough of that particular area, which proved
to be extremely time consuming, and probably frustrating and tiring. I now
wonder if Kate may follow Peter Gabriel into the world of the CD-rom,
should this be an area of interest to her. There could be great adventures
with endless creative possibilities, though not all fans would have access
to a CD-rom - even more debates.

Kate's 94 Convention appearance lasted only minutes, and caused a great
conflict in opinions amongst the fans. The letters flooded in for the best
part of 18 months after the event. Many thought she should have stayed
longer, others were quite happy that Kate showed up at all. Some were quite
bitter about her brief appearance, and took it as a personal insult. This
brings us back to the recurring view some fans have that Kate owes them
something. The decision to appear at events has always been down to Kate,
and almost always she has agreed to come along at the last minute. That
day, I was later told, she had a really bad headache; she may not have
turned up at all. Those who were disappointed had probably expected Kate to
stay as long as she had last time, and felt let down that she didn't do a
repeat performance of last time. 
   
Kate is currently at the beginning of the creative process which will
become the next album. The years between album releases have never been a
problem for us, though in terms of the magazine we do have a problem with
the lack of new photographs, which concerns me in that we are portraying
images of Kate as she was, not as she is now. Of course it is great when a
new album is imminent and when we have new tracks, but to us it has always
seemed just a little melodramatic when some fans have taken the waiting
time as a personal injury, that Kate is somehow making them suffer by
forcing them to wait. Once an album is released into the world, there is no
going back and changing any imperfections, so Kate works to the point of
exhaustion in pursuit of perfecting her work before handing it over to EMI.
 

THE FANS 

Through HG we encounter many different fans, from those only mildly
interested in Kate's music, to the very serious, obsessive fan. Most of us
find a great deal of pleasure and comfort - not to mention friends - in
Kate's music, which is what its all about.

So what exactly is the role of fans? There is a definite need for an artist
to be given support and encouragement, especially at the beginning of their
career, but perhaps more importantly in quieter times, like Kate at the
moment, for instance. She is out of the public eye, most people think she
has disappeared and isn't doing anything anymore. Many fans write to her to
let her know they are thinking of her, and that means a lot to her. The
patient fans write and tell her to take her time with her album-making, and
not to let anyone hassle her. Kate must feel a kind of security in knowing
that we like what she creates, that we understand (mostly) what her music
is saying, that we can take that music and use it as inspiration for our
own creative abilities. 

Many fans feel a genuine love for Kate, not just her music, but for the
person. Even if they have never met her, the love is there. She has reached
many people through her lyrics, which are more often than not about love,
and has struck them at a deep level. Many people have problems in their
lives and the music can provide answers, gives them courage to believe in
themselves, and is of comfort. Every one of us has felt that I'm sure. Like
if you're out somewhere, feeling a bit down, and then out of the blue a
Kate track gets played in a shop or a pub or on the radio. 

Collecting rarities is something most people do, money permitting. It is
enjoyable and many of the items are nice to have. This can get out of
control, though I doubt if it causes much harm other than financial. 

The friendships we have all made through our love of Kate are one of the
most important parts of the picture. Peter and I met through our mutual
love of Kate's music, and many of the friends we have made are through HG.
Many people have made new friends at conventions and smaller gatherings.
The common bond is Kate's music, and relationships develop from there, the
starting point. Kate is a catalyst in many people's lives; wheels are set
in motion, and things happen. However, not all of Kate's fans are angels - 
we have encountered one or two utter bastards. 

Kate has always had some contact with her fans from the very beginning.
Back in March 1986, she asked us to get around a hundred fans together to
take part in the video for The Big Sky, which was a very enjoyable day. She
didn't have to choose fans for the job, she could have got people from the
record company or an agency. I think it was a kind and trusting gesture on
Kate's part. She continues to send cards, gifts, letters and signed photos
to many people. She is very supportive of many fans, including Peter and
myself, and has been a great comfort to us through our on- going IVF
attempts. She has been there for us when others haven't, and little cards
to say she's thinking of us have dropped through the letterbox when they're
needed the most. Kate doesn't have to do any of these things, and I get
very angry when some fans accuse her of not caring. We know that she
genuinely does care.   

There is the question of whether fans need to see Kate in the flesh. Is
there a need to have such contact in order to enjoy the music? I don't
think there is, though of course it is great to get to see people we
admire. Those moments tend to be special. But it isn't anyone's right to
demand an appearance or a tour, just because they want it. Kate may never
want to tour again, and that is her choice. She doesn't owe any of us a
tour. If she had wanted to do another tour she would have done it well
before now, and I'm sure she has given it much serious thought. I don't
think she feels the need to do it, she has already made the music and put
it out into the world. 

It is always really good when everyone gets to see Kate at events, but
no-one should get complacent about it. Those who were at the Video Party
will remember how she was mobbed at the dinner table, and no amount of
asking people to sit down, or reassurance that Kate would get round to see
everyone in turn, was listened to. Dr Bush stood up and asked everyone to
sit down, Dave, and I think Paddy and Del too, but no-one listened. The
lack of respect towards Kate, her parents, brothers, Del, Lisa and for the
quiet fans who stayed put,  was really quite unpleasant. Those who did the
mobbing were in a state of panic, pushing and shoving people who were
sitting at Kate's table, including her parents. It was disastrous, and
embarrassing for us. That put an end to us ever having an event where Kate
was on ground level. She simply wasn't safe from being mobbed by a
hysterical crowd who are supposed to like and love her. I'm surprised after
that Kate ever attended any other convention. 

Some fans aren't  very nice to Kate; at the end of the 94 Convention, a few
guys threw CDs into her car demanding that she signed them. There are
others who criticise Kate for her success, craving the fame that she no
longer wants for themselves, and getting insanely jealous of her. And there
was of course the infamous anti-fanzine, Under The Ivy. 

Meeting heroes in the flesh can shatter the illusions people often foist
upon them, that pedestal on which the fan has put his hero, can crumble and
he or she crashes to the ground. This is the fan's fault. We know of
someone who once met Kate, and was seriously disappointed that she was an
ordinary person, wearing jeans, boots and woolly jumper. Was he expecting
her to drift in on a cloud, wearing the Babooshka costume? Had he hoped she
would fall to his feet, that he could take her off into the sunset? He
"lost the faith" after that, and became a born-again Christian. 

The realisation that Kate is human with imperfections and bad habits, comes
as a shock to some fans. This plays a major part in the fan becoming
disillusioned and placing the blame on her for their own disappointment.
Their expectations and demands are too high. The role Kate's music has had
in their lives has been of vital importance, and to many this has been the
most important thing in their life. Most fans will go through something
like this at some point, the majority keep things in perspective, but
others may go far beyond. Extreme cases of the obsessive fan have been
around for years, the most recent case being the Bjork fan who sent a
sulphuric acid bomb intended to explode in her face. This made the national
television news, with the revelation that he had videoed himself assembling
the device and kept the camera running to  film him shooting himself in the
head. The video was intended for Bjork to see, and to make her feel
responsible for his death. She was interviewed and clearly upset by what
had happened. There was a similar story with Sarah MacLaughlan, who wrote a
song about an obsessive fan who was stalking her. He too committed suicide.
And everyone is aware of what happened to John Lennon. This is the extreme
side of obsession, where it seems the "fan" wants more than some small
degree of contact with their idol, he or she wants friendship, or even
exclusive rights over that person; the  situation can become dangerous,
even life threatening to the idol. These so-called "fans" do, however, give
the genuine caring fans a bad image, and attaches the "weirdo" label to
everyone.     

Some fans are satisfied enough with simply having the music, they don't
need to meet Kate personally. For others, meeting Kate is their ultimate
goal, some even dream of marrying her, and some really believe that one day
they will. This is slightly disturbing because it seems that they would
like to add the real person to their collection. It is true to say that
some more extreme fans live in a fantasy world, and do have a serious
problem in getting a grip on reality; there is usually some major problem
in their lives at the root of this obsession, and Kate is a convenient and
happy escape. It can, however, have a detrimental effect on them finding a
partner who can meet the high standards they have woven around their
perception of Kate as the ideal. They want Kate; anyone else is second
best.

We have to look at ourselves here at HG too. Some would deem us as
obsessive for producing a magazine about Kate, and some think we're mad (it
certainly helps). I wonder if Kate cringes at yet another photograph or
drawing of herself, or whether she feels embarrassed or touched when she
reads how her music has affected someone's life, or whether she gets upset
by an angry fan's letter or a critical article.  Does she enjoy the
attention, the dedication, the time and energy fans put in to creating work
inspired by her own creations? Kate plays the Muse to many. The thing is,
she probably can't appreciate or enjoy her own work like we can. She is on
the blood and tears end of it, whilst we are at the listening end of the
finished result of years worth of work, time, energy and everything else
that goes into its creation. It would be nice to think she does get some
enjoyment out of the work she has inspired in others.

TO OWE OR NOT TO OWE

This is the on-going debate. Some fans firmly believe that Kate owes them
something: personal appearances, tours, endless supplies of albums,
preferably one a year, body and soul. They believe  that they have put her
in the position of acclaim and recognition, that her fame and fortune is
down to them buying the records. To a degree this is true. If no-one bought
the albums the story would be different. Kate must be the UK's top female
artist of all time. There are thousands of aspiring artists out there who
work hard, and most will not get wide recognition, money or fame. Many
stars have disappeared into obscurity. The music business with its designer
bands is different now than when Kate began. What would happen if she was
trying to break through now, when talent and originality is not always
enough?   

Kate owes nothing for her success, fame, wealth. She worked hard for it.
The same old argument that "well, we bought her albums, we put her where
she is today, without us she wouldn't enjoy the kind of lifestyle she does"
comes up again and again. These are often the same fans who grow impatient
with her for taking the time she does over making an album, who whinge on
and on because they feel hard done by and let down by Kate and EMI. Even if
Kate churned out an album a year, that still wouldn't be enough, because
they would demand her to tour. These kind of fans freely offer endless
criticism, though I doubt if they could make music like she does. People
make such big demands: the record company, completion deadlines, the fans,
and demands come from Kate herself, being a perfectionist. Everyone should
remember Kate is a human being with feelings, her own life, her own joys
and problems. She is not a commodity. You pay for the music, the agreement
stops there. No-one buys Kate the person. The music is what you buy, the
music is what you get. I wonder if people think Mr Heinz owes them
something just because they bought a tin of baked beans. I hold firmly with
the opinion that Kate owes us nothing. Not even another album. So the next
time you have a moan, stop. Could you do what Kate does?

CONVENTIONS & THE RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE

There is another way of looking at Kate's appearances at conventions or
gatherings - perhaps the idolatry gets too much for her; she is up there on
a stage with a crowd surrounding her, almost worshipping at her feet, which
some artists would feed to their ravenous egos. But for Kate this must be
quite daunting, if not terrifying, to have all that attention. Kate is not
like the majority of stars. We joked to Kate that we should have ended the
1990 Convention with Python's Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life (from
The Life Of Brian); maybe it wasn't such a joke when you look at it in this
light... "It is her shoe..."

Last night whilst writing this piece, Peter showed me an article in issue
35 of Watching Storms called Kate, Her Fans, and Disillusionment by Ernest
Heramia. I think Ernie sums this up perfectly:

"Look at us from where Kate stands, on the stage. Out there in the
darkness, a thousand-plus faces, a vast, amorphous, amorous monster
cheering for her. A monster that could crush her or tear her apart, if
frenzied. A monster notorious for its fickle affection; shouting "Hosanna!"
on Palm Sunday, only to scream "Crucify him!" on Good Friday. Could you
return the love of such a monster, or would you want to hide yourself away
on a little farm in the English countryside?" 

Some of our Wiccan friends visualise Kate as the Goddess aspect, being the
perfection of womanhood in their eyes. Some fans have made their love of
Kate and her music into a "religion" or cult, where Kate becomes their God
and Guru, the living messiah, for them to follow. People copy her ideas,
take things too literally, even to the point of losing their own identity
and individuality. Kate becomes the pivot around which their lives revolve.
She is put upon that pedestal (not of her making - she just makes the
music), and when she falls because she is human and imperfect, the fan
becomes disappointed and disillusioned with her, to the point of turning
into the anti-fan. It is interesting when a disillusioned fan says that he
or she has "lost the faith". Those words, and their allusions to religion,
are invariably used.  Most people celebrate Kate's birthday, though I do
not like the religious overtones of the term "Katemas", that the US fans
have adopted. 

Over recent years, we have seen this disillusionment happen quite a few
times. The hardest of hard-core fans, have suddenly lost interest in Kate.
Maybe it is a part of growing up and developing as individuals, and the
realisation that there is more to life than sitting in their bedroom
listening to Kate all day. There seemed to be so much seriousness in the
devout fan, to the point that they would not find humour in things like
those terrible TOTP musak recordings of Kate's songs, or some of the
impressionists doing their `Kate'. In all things there has to be some
degree of perspective, and a sense of humour helps. The music and the whole
fan thing is meant to be enjoyed. I'm sure Kate would want people to be
happy and have fun, not make her the core of their very existence to the
exclusion of other things and people.  

There will always be a division between Kate and her fans. Fans are
generally not able to get close because of the fan-idol thing. I believe
this is the usual state of affairs; the fan can be quite intimidating to
the idol, and that is the barrier to there ever being a true equally
balanced friendship. The idol puts the divide in place just as much as the
fan, knowing that the fan will almost certainly put him or her on that
pedestal, and that he or she cannot meet the fans expectations. I think
fear on the idol's part is a key reason, he or she has much to lose should
things go wrong if they took the risk of letting the fan get close -
blackmail in extreme cases or the fan running off to the newspapers to tell
what they know to fatten their own wallet. The fan-idol "relationship" is
what stands in the way of friendship. It rarely happens. 

The classic icon, Marylin Monroe,  was exploited by most of the people
around her and she wasn't in control of her personal life or career. I
wonder whether Kate held this in mind when she decided to record Candle In
The Wind, and whether in her own way was saying something about herself.
For many famous people such as Kate, it must get very difficult to discern
people's true motives for wanting to know you, whether it is for yourself,
or whether it is for your fame so they can impress people at parties with
the odd name-drop here and there, or maybe they want your money. Hangers-on
are everywhere, and there are people who will use and abuse. Even friends.
There are always people ready to jump on the bandwagon. But I think Kate is
a strong person who will not suffer fools gladly. We all know that she is a
very private person, and probably draws that close around her for her own
protection. I should imagine she has to be very careful about who she
trusts and takes into her circle. Her loving family have always been a
strong, protective wall around her, and this more than anything has
probably saved her from the clutches of a callous, exploitative record
industry and the hangers- on who would try to use her. Kate is unlike so
many pop stars who have an appalling attitude, which is made very public -
the Oasis bunch for a start - their attitude really stinks and encourages
the younger fans to follow suit, because its cool and trendy. Pauli, a
teacher friend of ours, experiences this snide attitude from teenagers each
day at school. These bands do have an effect on those too young and
impressionable to know better, and should take seriously the responsibility
for their very public  actions. This world is hard enough without producing
a generation of arrogant, cynical people who think they can do as they
please, regardless of others. 

Kate must be very conscious of the effect her songs and subjects have on
people. Some will cling to her every word and she must feel responsibility
regarding this, to the point that she may well have second thoughts about
her lyrics or may even discard songs. No doubt she has questioned making
public some of her songs, and I wonder if she has ever felt that she has
left herself exposed. 

THE FUTURE

Kate's personal development and the areas she is interested in  are her own
private business. Everyone should respect her need for and right to
privacy. People change and Kate has changed. If we don't have change in our
lives and indeed go with the flow, stagnation sets in. The struggle to
oppose change causes problems. It is a vital part of our lives, though it
can be hard to deal with. We should all appreciate that Kate is not the
same woman she was when she was nineteen, she has grown as everyone does
and should. How could anyone expect her to stay the same as she was then?
Over the years she, like us all, will have had many experiences and
encountered many people. These things take their toll and change us. 

I feel that Kate has reached a point where she needs to have her own space
and time for what she wants to do with her life. There must be times when
she wonders what the hell she is doing, what is her direction, how can she
better the work she has done before. She must sometimes feel like packing
the whole thing in. She may benefit from having a break from making music
for a while, even years, to return refreshed with new inspiration. There is
always the possibility that one day Kate will say enough is enough, and
that she has nothing more to say in music. If that happens we should all
respect that it is her choice. She owes us nothing. I would rather see her
happy than torturing herself just to churn out music that her heart isn't
in. Who knows what the future will hold. My only wish for Kate is that she
is healthy and happy, and she pursues her life the way she wants to. She
will not be dictated to anyone, be they associates, fans or EMI. 

Most of us will still be with Kate for years to come, whatever she does or
doesn't do. 
                                                
 KRYS.

[Sorry about  the length.]


-- 
P.D.FitzGerald-Morris
Homeground The Kate Bush Fanzine