***GAG!!*** (Re: Proof Kate is a Scientologist!

["Xenu's Sister" <vickie@miso.wwa.com>]

On Wed, 27 Mar 1996, Steve Berlin wrote:

> Hi!
>
> Fact:  Kate did a duet with Larry Adler.
>
> Fact:  Larry Adler is considered one of the best harmonica
> players in the world.
>
> Taking those into account, look at THIS page:
>
> http://www.lronhubbard.org/music/harmnca.htm

This is worse than the raunchiest joke one could
tell about Kate!  I'd rather hear about phantom
affairs, than hear a troll about her joining the
sleeziest, scummiest, most criminal cult in the
history of humankind.

What was that about Peter and Tom Waits, Violet???


> - Stev0 the Clear

I forgive you because you're so cute.

> "The best things in life are free
> Unless you claim to be a deity
> I want money, that's what I want...
>
> Your worship gives me such a thrill,
> but your worship don't pay my bills...
>
> I need money, there ain't nothin' sweeter
> So you need to buy a new E-meter..."
>  - L. Ron's Theme Song


Here's a good one, it's about one of their head
honcho criminal lawyers, Helena Kobrin (she's the
one who actually tried to rmgroup alt.religion.scientology
bacause people were....ooooh, saying bad things about
the cult).


It's set to the tune of "I Am The Very Model
Of A Modern Major General":



          I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A MODERN LEGAL CRIMINAL


I am the legal eagle of the Church of Scientology,
For First Amendment purposes that's what's called "a theology";
Of course we don't believe in God--if you do, we don't mind, as such:
We'll convert you (and your property) through Operation Midas Touch.

I oversee manipulation of the law in Dennis Erlich's case,
I practice my beliefs before Judge Whyte by lying to his face.
In short, in matters criminal, both overt and subliminal,
I sing the songs of L. Ron from his copyrighted hym-n-al.

Chorus:  In short, in matters criminal, both overt and subliminal,
         She sings the songs of L. Ron from his copyrighted hym-n-al!

By now you've heard our leader sailed a Navy ship and saved the day,
At Flag, Sea Org and L.A. we salute and shout, "Hip, hip, hooray!"
Our records show he seized the reigns and ne'er once failed to take them
    up.
And, like the facts in Erlich's case, he ne'er once failed to make them
    up!

The SPs who are PTS the OSA will deal with,
The HCOPLs work best to RPF your meal with.
Though Grady Ward can say that I am just the 'ho of babble-on'...
babble-on...
babble-on...
Ah yes!:
Such acronyms I'd like to wager ten fair games of Scrabble[tm*] on!

Chorus:  Such acronyms she'd like to wager ten fair games of Scrabble on!
         Such acronyms she'd like to wager ten fair games of Scrabble on!
         Such acronyms she'd like to wager ten fair games of Scrabble,
              Scrabble on!

At redefining words I make George Orwell do a double-think,
Uncork me and the law's my punch-bowl; I'm Jim Jones's bubble-drink.
In short, in matters criminal, both overt and subliminal,
I sing the songs of L. Ron from his trade-secreted hym-n-al!

Chorus:  In short, in matters criminal, both overt and subliminal,
         She sings the songs of L. Ron from his trade-secreted hym-n-al!

Now, let me be perfectly "clear":

Our church is not a cult because our church is not a cult because
Our church is (nod) occult. Be. Cuss our churchies. Not ack. Old beak
    nose.
Arch urges noted.  Culled because hour charge is nada.  Gold--be cozy.
Cherish Tom, Nicole (big house--ours?).  Churlish snotty cold pig hose.

How odd it is that "audit" is the term we use for "therapy",
The same word from the IRS would set a grizzly bear a-pee.
But since we've infiltrated them we are not scared a bit ourselves,
When they come to examine us, we'll know how to audit ourselves!

Chorus:  When they come to examine us, we'll know how to audit ourselves!
         When they come to examine us, we'll know how to audit ourselves!
         When they come to examine us, we'll know how to audit, audit
              ourselves!

There's only one remaining law with which we haven't been attacked:
The Racketeer-Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Act.
Of course we won't defend ourselves; we'll fire lying flak at them:
If Justice files a RICO suit, we'll counterfile one back at them!

Though no one is beyond redemption, I am on the road to hell,
The money talks. The money talks. The money talks.  I know too well.
In short, with ethics minimal, from L. Ron's secret hym-n-al,
I am the very model of a modern legal criminal!

Chorus:  In short with ethics minimal, from L. Ron's secret hym-n-al,
         She is the very model of a modern legal criminal!



Visit the Helena Kobrin Pove Page at:

http://www.demon.co.uk/castle/helena/ho_fine


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