Twonk (Re: Love-Hounds Digest #11.47)

[mas@cs.bu.edu (Mark Semich)]

Drukman spews:
> Chris Williams (chrisw@fciad2.bsd.uchicago.edu) wrote:
> : Ok, I went back to check _Cloudbusting_, Ron Hill's collection of
> : Kate quotes. Here's the section on Kate's explanations of
> : _Suspended In Gaffa_
> 

> Chris, you are such a twonk!  Just because the song is about purgatory
                        ^^^^^
> doesn't mean that gaffa isn't tape!  Talk about your specious
> conclusions.  


Hmm.  At first I wasn't exactly clear on what Mr Drukman meant by "twonk."   
I consulted the _Oxford_English_Dictionary_ in this matter, but could find  
no entry for the word.  However, the _OED_ *does* list "twon" as an  
obselete form of "twine".  Assuming that "twonk" is an Italian plural for  
"twon", I have painstakingly managed to piece together Jon's meaning.

There were two or three pages of definitions for "twine", a select few of  
the meanings (and appropriate observations) are listed below:

twine (1):

1 - Thread or string composed of two or more yarns or strands twisted  
together.

	This is obviously a reference on Jon's part to what he sees as  
Chris's ability to draw together a multitude of possible meanings for 

"gaffe" and/or "gaffa" into a coherent whole (or "twine").

2 - A twined or twisted object or part.

	Using the above meaning, a direct and precise reference to "gaffa"  
as a multitudinous concept that encompases all of the "gaffe" meanings.

a - A twining or trailing stem or spray of a plant.

	Here we begin to see Mr. Drumkman's genius for going beyond the  
obvious and mundane into the truly esoteric:  He begins to relate the  
entire "twonk" concept into the plant (life regeneration matrix) metaphor  
and/or the "Secret Life of Plants".  We shall see further reference to  
this.

b - A fold; a coil; a convolution; a twist or turn in the course of  
anything.

	Drukman draws attention to the many complexities (what he believes  
to be "convolutions") in Chris's "gaffe" posting.
	
c - A tangle; knot; snarl.

	A direct reference to the entire "gaffa"/"gaffer's tape"/"gaffe"  
flame-war (or "snarl").

3 - The action or an act of twining

	Both a meta-reference to Love-Hounds and all of it's "snarls"; and  
also refering back to the "gaffe" fusion.

a - An embrace, a clasping.

	That in spite of these "snarls", Love-Hounds is a place for us to  
all come together in one big happy "twine".

c - a turn of fortune, a vicissitude

	It's seems obvious now that Drukman sees this entire prolonged and  
re-hashed "gaffa" analysis as a boon for Love-Hounds, and applauds this  
"turn of fortune".

4b - Of a line: Forming a spiral; helical.

	One point here is that circularity is directly relevant to  
Drukman's "specious conclusions" argument.  Another is the  
"fractal/helical/spiral" movement, another tie-in to the overall plant  
motif.

twine (2):
Division, separation, disunion.

	Perhaps Drukman is here showing his fear that the "gaffa"  
arguments are "divisive" to Love-Hounds (causing a "disunion") rather than  
being a "turn of fortune" as he argued above.  This inherent conflict adds  
depth and emotion to the entire piece.

twine (3):
1 - To form by twisting or spinning
b - To form by interlacing; to wreathe, to weave.
c - To interlace, entwine

	Another angle on the fact that Chris was weaving together all of  
the "gaffe" meanings.  Here, however, the emphasis is not on the end  
result (as it initially was) but rather on the act of weaving itself.

2 - To cause (one thing) to circle or embrace another; to twist, wreathe,  
clasp, or wrap (a thing) about or around another; also, to insert (one  
thing) in or into another with a twisting or sinuous movement.

	Similar to the above, with the added sexual "insertion" reference.   
The obvious meaning is the sexual act itself.  There are many depths to  
this concept, the simplest being a return to the "plant/life" motif.

3 - to clasp, encircle, enwrap

	Sex, sex, and more sex.

4b - to become entangled or complicated

	Drukman has already given us many complimentary levels of "twonk",  
but he has also shown the depth that can be achieved by creating inherent  
contradictions.  Here he goes further and begins to actually insult Chris,  
arguing that his "gaffe" tretise is entagled or overly "complicated".   
Here "twine" has gone *beyond* "two" to become "too many".

6a - (of a weapon) to twist or turn aside.

	Another dual concept, this could refer to either Chris's ability  
to "turn aside" counter arguments, or that Chris's original posting is a  
weapon easily turned aside itself.
	
b - (of timber)  to be contorted or irregular in formation.

	 A direct Drukman-ism:  He believes that Chris's argument is  
"contorted".

7 - To extend or proceed in a winding manner; to bend, incline  
circuitously; to wind about, meander

	The key here is "meander."  Drukman, having shown us that he is  
entirely capable of producing his own "twines" (or complex fusions) now  
gets down to his reason for being:  insults.  He is accusing Chris of  
meandering.

8 - to contort the body; to writhe, wriggle, squirm

	Drukman now finally brings this full-circle be fusing (or  
"twonking") into his piece one final concept:  himself.

	So we have seen that not only does "twonk" refer to Chris's  
"gaffe" argument, Love-Hounds, and the very act of creation; but it also  
refers back to itself!  Obviously a masterpiece of complexity, skill, and  
insight into the Universe.