Major non-KaTe content: What's in a name?

[Connie Lofton <Connie_Lofton@sonymusic.com>]

Stuart M. Castergine writes:

>...It is interesting to note, though, that it is OK for blacks to use the word 
nigger, it's just not OK for whites to use it....They have >finally managed to 
find terms that annoy me, simply for their pretentiousness, the implied 
separatism in "African American" >and the patent meaninglessness of "People of 
Color" (what am I, a person of no color? A person of olive-tinted beige color?)

>Faggot. Another emotionally-charged one. Again, words are very situational. 
Many homosexuals will call themselves Fags. >It isn't the word that is the 
insult, it is the hate behind it.

>It is *not* impolite to give people labels. I am labeled in 
>a hundred ways: Man, Systems Analyst, white, italian, hairy-faced, 
>christian (ooh, there's one that really labels me as scum in some 
>circles), left-handed, Kate-Fan


Woo, boy.  Talk about stepping into the middle of a veritable landmine.  I 
agree with most of Stuart's points about a "label" not necessarily being 
derogatory; i.e. there is no way a term like "newbie", because it neither has 
the history or impact behind it, can compare with the word "nigger" or "fag".  
I agree that it is easy to become over-sensitive if you feel someone is using a 
word to keep you "in your place".  I do think, though, that "newbie" is, again 
as Stuart mentions, being used for the most part as a fact, not as a way of 
squelching contributions from people.   

However, Stuart, you are absolutely understating the case when you make the 
assertion in the case of something like "nigger" that "it isn't the word that 
is the insult, it is the hate behind it."  Wrong, wrong and wrong--both are the 
insult, but the word more so.    Obviously the word will have a more immediate 
impact that spending time sussing out someone's attitude towards you will.  
Someone can be a vehement racist, but up to and until they use the word 
"nigger" to my face, I'll probably just think they're an asshole.  Once they 
say the word (or the myriad of others in that vein they could choose), I'll 
want to kill them.   

It aggravates me no end when I hear , "Ah, but they call each other nigger; 
only we can't call them that."   First, most black folks, myself included, 
would never think of calling another black person "nigger" for a multitude of 
reasons.  Secondly,  if, for example, an Italian friend of yours came up and 
called you a "wop" , wouldn't it have a different impact on you than if a 
stranger yelled it at you on the street?   You can't tell me that blacks and 
gays are the only groups guilty of using slurs historically levelled against 
them by others within the safety of their own "members."  I sometimes wonder 
that others make a point of saying how they can't understand why blacks can use 
the word "nigger" and they can't because they miss being able to publicly refer 
to blacks that way (not that I think it stops anybody).   BTW, they are not my 
terms of choice either, but I'm also curious why the term African-American 
"annoys" you?  You went on in your post to describe yourself as Italian--what's 
the difference?   We're all, technically, "Americans"; we just happen to have 
different ancestries.   Also, "people of color" is, unfortunately, a reaction 
to the all-purpose word "white", which is also a misnomer.

We can all be oversensitive sometimes, but this issue of labels is not as, 
pardon the expression, "black and white" as has been written.   I do believe 
certain labels are innocuous and/or harmless.  It's like the old "Trekkie" vs. 
"Trekker" debate; one might hate you calling them by the other name, but I 
don't recall any riots breaking out at sci-fi conventions over the years 
because of it.   However, some words are inarguably more powerful than others 
and the reaction they can cause must be respected to a certain extent.  I am 
not advocating the dreaded "c" word; people can say and do whatever they want, 
but it's like yelling "fire" in a crowded theater--you can't expect to go up to 
a woman, black person or Jew and call them "cunt", "nigger" or "kike" respe
ctively, even if you're Mother Theresa,  without expecting a fight.    As a 
black lesbian, I've had a fair share of insults hurled either at me or at my 
friends over the years; some have led to physical violence.  It's well and good 
to say labels aren't impolite if you're a Christian straight white male.    

An interesting thread, though, certainly capable of turning into a volatile 
one.  All my comments were said with respect to Stuart with no "personal" 
attack on his character intended, so before he or any of his potential 
defenders flame me, I just wanted to say that.   I just couldn't let this 
discussion go by without contributing my $.02 worth and I welcome others' 
thoughts on all of this, privately if you prefer.  This is something we all 
have to live and deal with, and all it's ultimately about is just wanting a 
little consideration for and from people in our dealings with them during this 
lifetime, which is not too much to ask but is certainly one of the hardest 
things for us to learn.   

--Connie

P.S. -- On a lighter note, if "newbie" is a problem, how about "Love-Pups" for 
gaffans under a year old?