Y Kant Kate Tour

[steve.b@TQS.COM (Steve Berlin)]

nessus@mit.edu (Douglas Alan) explains:

>In article <DBFA023A76@ist2.co.umist.ac.uk> "CHOY, George Kar Wai"
><ME313@ist2.co.umist.ac.uk> writes:

>>   fellow Kate maniacs
>>   Hi!  Can anyone tell me why Kate is not planning to tour this year?

>No, but the reason is probably the same reason she hasn't toured in
>the following years: 1981, 1982, 1983, 1984, 1985, 1986, 1987, 1988,
>1989, 1990, 1991, 1992, and 1993.

A-Ha!  You're assuming she had the same reason each year.  No, culled
from past interviews, here are the reasons she gave for not touring in
the above years:

1981:  Tarot advisor said not to leave bedroom
1982:  Spent year dead for tax purposes
1983:  Agorophobia
1984:  Developed proof of Fermat's last theorem
1985:  Paddy superglued her to chair as practical joke
1986:  Was going to tour until someone explained that yes, she had
       to let the audience in.
1987:  Did tour, but not in this dimension
1988:  Did tour, but as backup singer for Spinal Tap
1989:  Said would only tour "After I solve this goddamn Rubick's Cube".
1990:  Developed rock opera based on a deaf, dumb, and blind pinball
       player.  Got all depressed when told someone else did that first.
1991:  Did tour, but only in living room in front of family.
1992:  Spent entire year re-reading old "Flaming Carrot" comics.
1993:  Vowed to see every film starring Harvey Keitel or Anthony Hopkins
1994:  When asked if she'll tour, answered, "Oh, I didn't realize Hell froze
       over yet."

- Stev0 the Ticket Master

"What?  I already did a tour this century!  What more do you want?" - KTB