Stev0's balls (of crystal)

[steve.b@TQS.COM (Steve Berlin)]

Hi -

Gazing into my crystal ball, here is what I see in the not-so-near future.

Sept 15, 93 - Announced release date for Kate's new album, "Smell the Glove".

Sept 16, 93 - Kate announces that she needs to "polish up" the album a bit more.

Dec 1, 93 - Album is finished, now titled "My Life as a Kickboxer"

Dec 2. 93 - Columbia announces it won't release Kate's new album yet so it
"Won't get lost in the Christmas Rush".

Jan 14 94 - The first single from the new album (Now called "Electric Youth")
is released, "Skankin' with the Devil", a trio with Kate, Pato Banton, and
Ozzy Osbourne.

Feb 1 94 - The Album is finally released, called "Thank you Very Much".
When asked, Kate says "Thank you very much for asking.  I named it after
a representative from Columbia asked me what I wanted to call it.  He
just wrote down the first thing I said.  It was very nice of you to ask.
Thank you."

Feb 2 94 - Jon Drukman posts to rec.music.gaffa saying "The new album sucks.
It needs more drum machines."  Flamewar ensues which lasts until the year
1997.

Feb 7 94 - Album reaches No. 1 on NME and Melody Maker charts

Feb 9 94 - A tour is announced.  Gaffans have mass oragm.

Feb 10 94 - Rumor of tour found to be false.

Feb 14 94 - Second single is released, a poetry piece by John C. Bush, 
"Ode to a Small Lump of Putty I found in my Armpit One Midsummer's Morn".

Feb 19 94 - Happy Rhodes scores a number one single on Billboard with a
remake of "In the Year 2525".

Feb 21 94 - A tour is announced.  Gaffans have mass orgasm.

Feb 22 94 - Rumor of tour found to be false. (this happens again on Mar 12,
April 3, April 5, and May 17th).

Feb 27 94 - "Thank You Very Much" peaks at 97 on the Billboard album chart.

Jun 30 94 - Overzelous KateFans get carried away at Kate Konvention in
Hawaii when they sacrifice Jorn in a volcano.

- Stev0 the Psychic

"Thank you very very VERY very much!" - Kate's response to Grammy nomination
for her album to be released next year.