rec.music.dylan

[ide!lofdahl@Sun.COM (Corey Lofdahl)]

All right Love-Hounds, the gauntlet has been thrown at our
collective keyboards.  I've just heard from another incurable
netter that those neophyte peuks over on the Dylan net have been
congratulating themselves on having the first newsgroup devoted to
a single musical artist.  Who are they kidding?  We've been here
forever, or at least since 1986 when I started grad school.  And
who do they eulogize?  Some drug crazed sixties throwback who
sounds like a tortured geezer piped through an AM radio speaker to
make full use of his half octave range.  I mean the guy looks like
Yassir Arafat's half brother with mange and his lyrics are
plaintive and puerile compared to Kate's.  Really, the whole 
subject makes me sick. 

The ONLY thing Bob Dylan ever did right was make an album that was
exactly the right size for use as a washer to hold the rear deck
of my 74 Capri together long enough to sell it.  He also created
one that was perfect to place under the New Mexico sun as a heat
retention of vinal experiment.  It got all warped and soft, kind
of like cookie dough.  Mr. Dylan also meticulously crafted another
album that was tailor made to frisbisize against the dumpster at
my apartment complex.  In case you didn't know, cold Dylan albums
explode into hundreds of pieces when you wing them really hard
against apartment complex dumpsters while the hot ones just kind
of sit there in a lump.  I almost felt bad about this until
hearing of the smug and fallacious postings of the Dylan
newsgroup.  Now I'm proud of what I did and would do it again.

                                   --Corey

KT*KT*KT*KT*KT*KT*KT*KT*KT*KT*KT*KT*KT*KT*KT*KT*KT*KT*KT*KT*KT*KT*KT

p.s. For those who want TD Exit lyrics, I'm working on it.
     I need to get my friend, the tape, a tape deck,
     a pencil, and some paper all in the same room
     at the same time.  This is not trivial.