Gaffaweb > Love & Anger > 1987-02 > [ Date Index | Thread Index ]
[Date Prev] [Date Next] [Thread Prev] [Thread Next]


IED == G*D

From: hsu%uicsrd.CSRD.UIUC.EDU@a.cs.uiuc.edu (William Tsun-Yuk Hsu)
Date: Tue, 3 Feb 87 14:37:09 cst
Subject: IED == G*D



After fasting for 7 days and abstaining from sex, drugs, alcohol, and
industrial music for the same period, I have finally come to the conclusion
that IED is G*d. Either that, or he's pretty close. 

How did I come to this conclusion, you understandably befuddled heathen
masses may ask? Well, with my own eyes I have witnessed two feats of
IED which I thought were impossible, and which will probably never be
duplicated. By definition, these are "miracles".

You see, IED has succeeded in pissing off two of the most calm, reasonable
and tolerant people on the net. I never thought anyone could incite
rossi or gtaylor to say anything that even approaches displeasure, but IED, 
in the space of a few months, has performed both impossible feats.

I now see the wisdom of IED, and accept his writings as "the one true way".
At least until I recover from temporary insanity, chemical imbalance,
constant migraine, etc.

The 7 Commandments of IED, as far as I could infer from his holy writings:

"I am the messenger of Kate thy G*d, 
1) Thou shalt have no strange Gods before Kate.
2) Thou shalt not abuse the works of Kate, nor blaspheme against Kate
   by claiming that *anything* comes close to the works of Kate in perfeKTion.
   Kate *is* perfeKTion, Kate defines musical complexity and quality.
3) Thou shalt keep holy the Sabbath day (Kate's birthday).
4) Thou shalt not kill, nor commit verbal abuse, except when involved in
   verbal tirades against enemies of Kate.
5) Thou shalt not commit adultery by claiming allegiance to any other than
   Kate in love-hounds.
6) The two greatest visual artists working in America these days are David
   Lynch and Terry Gilliam. It is blasphemy to claim that Jim Jarmusch,
   Woody Allen, Francis Ford Coppola, or anybody else even comes close.
7) Dune is a great movie, despite its snail-like pace, excessive self-
   indulgence, relatively shoddy look for all the money spent on it,
   ridiculous design for stillsuits, inappropriate overuse of voiceovers,
   and pseudo-mystical/religious/philosophical ending."

The above are, of course, religious *facts*, and anyone (me included) who
try to argue them will burn in hell.

Bill

P.S.-- Religious beliefs aside, I like David Lynch and Terry Gilliam.