The last word on J.D.-bashing

[Susanne E Trowbridge <ins_aset%jhunix.BITNET@WISCVM.WISC.EDU>]

Okay, so my best friend's a rock critic.  I'm tired of having to defend
him from hofmann and wicinski, so you may consider this the last word on
the subject, from J.D. himself.  Now can we pleeeease go back to our
regularly scheduled discussions on Kate and good new music?

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To Wicinski and Hofmann:

Having finally seen the puerile blatherings of Messrs. Wicinski
and Hofmann, I must say that, offensive as the level of discourse
often is (is Mr. Wicinski's fascination with "sucking dick"
reflective of some deeply repressed desire, or is it simply an
attempt to emulate street language?), the discussion itself is
rather amusing.  After all, why would the two feel so compelled
to continually lambaste my reviews unless, deep down, they
believed that

A) I know more about music, on all levels, than they; or
B) I am usually right.

I therefore suggest that they lay off Sue, and confine their
whingeing to the "Post"'s letters page, like real men.

-J.D. Considine
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>From: wicinski@NRL-CST.ARPA (wicinski)
>Subject: World Weekly News

Actually, it's the Weekly World News.  I always read the cover
and Ed Anger's "My America" when I'm waiting in line at the A&P.

>   Spin does suck huge dicks,

Wicinski and his famous one-track mind...

>but so does the latest Woodentops LP.  And did YOU know that both them
>Woodentops and those House Martian bands you wank about are both being

Well, I don't know.  Girls can't really wank per se.

>played on DC-101 (local rock and roll crank it up and puke it back
>out station).

It says that the station's program director must have a smidgen of
good taste.

>Wimpy Guitar Music:  Why don't you try Eugune Chadbourne

have heard him -- pretty amusing

> (oops, not on
>an import label!).

Oops indeed!  Surely I couldn't THINK of buying anything not on an import
label.  I haven't the foggiest idea how records by R.E.M., Zeitgeist,
Suzanne Vega, Flipper, Dumptruck, Until December, The Replacements,
10,000 Maniacs, Stan Ridgway, Run-D.M.C., Abecedarians, Bunnydrums,
Chrome, ESG, Figures on a Beach, Ministry, Pylon, (need I go on)
wound up on my shelves.  It must have been a wild fluke of some sort.

I will leave you all with these inspiring words from the Jazz Butcher.

"If you need me I'm always there
 Just take my bones out, remove the hair
 And if you go out I'll catch you later
 I'll be waiting in your refrigerator
 Diced into neat little squares...
 I'll be your breakfast, I'll be your dinner
 You won't go hungry, you won't get thinner
 To see you starving, it's no damn good
 So darling darling, I'll be your food."