Retch N Bones

[Eat fish and DIE <hofmann@AMSAA.ARPA>]

LAURENCE BEALL & THE SULTANS / FETCH 'N' BONES @ The 8X10, Baltimore, April 20
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Fetch 'N' Bones is the latest in the Don Dixon parade of the New South music,
which started (presumably) with R.E.M. and the Db's.  FNB is unfortunately more
of the same with only a bit of variation.  But dig the MEDIA HYPE they're 
getting - it's enuf to make you PUKE.  First off, "THEY SAY THEY GOT" a bitchin'
singer, who "THEY SAY" is influenced by Patti Smith.  Hey, with a little more
honey down her throat and some tighter pants (AND the ever present geetar) she
very well could be Patti. Maybe.  Another aspect of the band is 
that only one member is actually from the South (that being the lead singer), 
the rest hail from all parts from Vermont to France.  The buzzword of the 80's
if you believe some is "ECLECTISM" so they pass of this pop as ECLETIC, dig
and all the indie fans will support them through their "LEAN" years and then
when they can sell more than 100,000 rec's - Warner or A&M or SOMEBODY BIG will
sign 'em up and release singles in the UK. Earlier this week, I bought their 
album on Db records and gave them a spin.  Yechhhh.

A pre-show talk with the rhythm guitarist confirmed that they didn't use a 
drum machine or studio musicians as I had thought.  So they really are that
boring in reality.

It's a understated damning of this city that this was the only thing to do,
on a Sunday night that is.  If this 8X10 REALLY wanted to be hip, they'd
book Great Plains or Salem 66 (wait, I think they already did.)

OBLIGATORY OPENING BAND ACKNOWLEDGEMENT:
The opening band was notable only for their guitarist (who wasn't Laurence
Beall).  Though he may not realize it, but he bridges the gap between southern
rock guitar and the premier noise makers in the Sleazy City (New York that is).
He loves feedback and so do I.  This band does roots rock with a Southern
taint so be forewarned - this stuff can be obnoxiously generic and Laurence
is sort of a greaser dick.  Yawn.

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Aside to Sue:  Would you have reviewed this if Don Dixon hadn't produced them?