Oh England My Leotard

[nessus (Doug Alan)]

Fu-Sheng said I should post this, so don't blame me.  This song is from
a British TV show called "Not The Six O'Clock News".  It was sung by
Pamela Stevenson, now of ex-Saturday Night Live fame. (She's the one that
had the tits that moved around.  Cleary she is into tits....).  The
lyrics included are only as accurate as my ears.  If anyone thinks they
know how "aresh aresh tomp pare hairdo" should really read, or knows
what a "Cop Boutique" is, please let me know:

		OH ENGLAND MY LEOTARD
		(To be sung roughly to the
		 tune of "Them Heavy People")
		----------------------

	I was into yin and yang and half of yoga
	Ginsing and carroway seeds and being a non-smoker
	My carrot quiches were better than the board's were
	And they were thicker than two short ones
	People bought my latest hits cause they like my latex tits
	Everyone is trying hard to get inside my leotard
	Went to my hairdresser to have a hairdo
	He asked if I him knew an aresh aresh tomp pare hairdo
	That's how I was introduced to Gollette, Coctau, and Marcel Brust
	Now whole food cookery is just a sideline
	La la la la la ...
	I went to Cairo and I read the Gnostic
	A corporate form of joining the original Cop-Boutique ah
	Cause I cuff psychosis berries
	And a fibonacci series
	Studied acupuncture and the bible
	Opened the windows in my mind
	"It's not your mind -- it's your body they're into"
	My business manager said
	He said I need an intellect like I need a 
	Hole in the, hole in the, hole in the head
	Though I'm an honorary member of Mensa now
	I'm going to try and keep up the pretense some how
	Would you buy my latest hits because you like my latex tits
	And you're all trying hard to get inside my
	     [...Music changes to "Violin"...]
	Leotard, leotard, leotard